


How to Get a Boyfriend (Who Is a Rockstar). A Guide by Matteo Florenzi

by wyoheartsmusic



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, gonna add more tags and pairings as i go, groupies bleiben nicht zum frühstück, rockstar!david, there's some snaking going on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2020-06-28 18:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19818226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyoheartsmusic/pseuds/wyoheartsmusic
Summary: Matteo is back in Berlin after spending the year after his Abitur in Italy. When his family and friends overwhelm him on the first day of being back, he escapes to an abandoned building. He meets David there and falls in love almost instantly. To his surprise, Matteo soon finds out that David is actually a famous musician who is popular with seemingly every teen girl in Berlin. And Matteo quickly realises it’s not that easy to date a rockstar.// The Groupies Bleiben Nicht zum Frühstück AU some (including myself) asked for.





	1. Step One: Find an Abandoned Building

**Author's Note:**

> It is finally hereeeee aaaahhh I am so excited to share this with you!
> 
> This is gonna be 6 chapters and I was thinking of posting every Monday so I'll have enough time to write. Chapter 2 is halfway written already so I can keep to that schedule I think.
> 
> Thank you to Noah for beta-ing <3 Check him out on tumblr [@unendeligtid](https://unendeligtid.tumblr.com/) and here's his [ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twinklylightseverywhere/pseuds/Twinklylightseverywhere) (seriously, check him out, he's genius)
> 
> And now, enjoy!

It was weird being back. One minute at Airport Tegel and it became clear that he was no longer in Italy. The atmosphere was so much more tense right away. Matteo wasn’t sure yet if he regretted coming back or not. His nonna had offered for him to stay and he had had a good year there. Matteo wasn’t gonna lie, it was a tempting offer. 

In the past year, he’d fallen in love with Italy like he never thought he could and he could see himself moving there permanently. It was a surprising realisation since before spending the year there, he’d always tried to keep his Italian side separated from everything else in his life because he connected that to his father and all the bad memories. But now, the only thing that was really holding him back was his mother and making sure he didn’t break her like his father had done when he had just fucked off without a word.

When Matteo finally made it to the arrivals hall, he spotted his mother almost immediately. Or rather, the oversized poster that read _Welcome back, Matteo!_ and hid his mother’s slim frame almost entirely.

He couldn’t help but smile. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be back. “Mama,” He said when he had approached her.

Anja dropped the poster instantly to be able to wrap her arms around him. “Oh, my darling. It’s so good to have you back!”

Matteo buried his face against her neck and inhaled deeply. “It’s good to be back.” In that moment, he actually meant it. 

However, their reunion was interrupted when Matteo noticed a man who was staring at them from the corner of his eye. He didn’t even try to be subtle about it and it made Matteo uncomfortable. “Uhh, mama?” He didn’t want to upset his mother so he said, “We should go. I’m pretty exhausted.”

“Of course, of course!” Anja smiled, kissing Matteo’s forehead and gave him a really long look. “I missed you.” She took Matteo’s suitcase from him, fiddling unnecessarily long with it.

Matteo furrowed his brow, he immediately went into worrying mode. “Are you okay?” He asked, putting a comforting hand on her back. “I’m sorry if you didn’t really feel up for picking me up and I made you-“

“Nonsense,” She interrupted, eyes on the ground. “Before we leave- I-“ She waved her hands around, “I have a boyfriend.”

If she had looked up, she would have seen the utter surprise on Matteo’s face. She’d never talked about anything like that during their phone calls so it was only understandable. “Oh?”

“Hello, I’m Sven.” The man that had been staring at them previously took a step forward now and held out his hand.

It took Matteo a moment to process the whole situation and he shook the man’s hand a little dazedly. “Matteo,” He mumbled, eyes on his mother who still couldn’t look at him.

There was an awkward pause until Sven suggested, “Should we leave then? Anja?”

Matteo’s mother nodded, finally meeting Matteo’s eyes. Somehow, Sven seemed to catch the mood and walked ahead. Anja’s expression was pained when she said, “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I didn’t know how.”

Matteo tried to delay any kind of judgement until later. He’d take his time to assess Sven and if he was any good for his mother — and if he wasn’t, he’d do what was necessary to ensure her wellbeing. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.” He wrapped his arm around her and they followed Sven out of the airport.

While Sven was driving the car, Anja sat in the back with Matteo, holding his hand all through the ride. “So tell me, how was Italy? You had a good time? I see your grandma fed you well!” 

“Mama,” Matteo whined, drawing out the last vowel. But with a smile, he added, “She’s a grandma, of course she fed me well. And yeah, it was amazing.”

“I’m glad.” She shot him a smile that quickly turned more nervous. “And she… everyone is doing well?”

Matteo grimaced. He knew that she meant his dad with that ‘everyone.’ “Nonna is doing fine and I haven’t seen or talked to him if I had the chance to avoid it,” He told her, leaving no room for further questions. It was better for both of them if they pretended that his father didn’t exist.

“That’s good,” Anja mused, staring out the window.

Matteo squeezed her hand. “Tell me about you. What else are you not telling me that has changed in the last twelve months?”

He meant it as a joke but there was a guilty expression on her face again. Matteo braced himself for more unexpected revelations. He really hoped his mother wouldn’t tell him that she’d married the guy.

“Well,” Anja spoke slowly, “You see… Sven, uh, he has a daughter. So technically- you have a sister?”

Matteo let out the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. So this whole relationship was more serious than he thought if there was a daughter who was already dubbed his sister. And then he froze. “Is she your daughter too? I mean, biologically?”

Anja’s eyes went wide. “Oh, nonono! Matteo, I’m a little old for- anway, she’s eleven and her name is Lila. I think you’ll like her.”

Matteo didn’t know what to say or how to feel. Maybe he could be convinced to be happy for his mum if she was happy and the guy wasn’t a total tool. He needed to know that Sven wasn’t going to get up his mum’s hopes only to leave her almost irreparably heartbroken like his father had done — and unfortunately, that was only something to be seen in the long run. 

Matteo quickly realised that quite a few things had changed while he had been gone. As soon as they entered his mother’s house, it became clear that this wasn’t just her place anymore. Nothing major had changed but there were men’s shoes lined in the entrance hall, something that hadn’t been the case ever since his father had moved out and shortly after, Matteo himself. Even on the walls, there were more pictures now; next to those of a younger, gap-toothed Matteo alone or with Anja, there were frames of her with Sven and a girl who he guessed must be his new “sister.”

They looked happy. It sent a pang through Matteo because even at the best of times, in the moments the photographs on the walls had been taken, he never really had a happy family. He could match up almost every single picture with a memory that wasn’t as smiley as the people in them suggested.

Matteo averted his gaze.

“Are you hungry, my darling?” Anja asked him, smiling, “We can quickly make something.”

Matteo nodded. “Sure, uh, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to lie down for a bit?” Travelling always made him anxious so he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. He didn’t really wait for an answer and just walked toward his old room that his mother had kept even after he had moved out.

“Matteo, wait-“

Too late. Matteo had already stepped into a pink monstrosity of a room — even though the pink of the walls was barely visible between the posters on the walls that he barely paid any attention to. This was decidedly not how he had left his room behind. He quickly closed the door again, turning around to face his mum’s guilty expression.

“We had to figure out which room we could give to Lila and well…” Anja explained, fiddling with her fingers.

Matteo knew that technically he couldn’t be upset about this, he hadn’t really used this room anymore anyway. He wasn’t sure why he still was — probably because his mother hadn’t bothered to tell him about any of this beforehand. “It’s fine,” He said through gritted teeth, hoping he seemed more calm than he felt. “I’ll rest on the couch.” His voice broke a little on the last word.

“Matteo…” His mum raised her hand like she wanted to touch him but in the end decided not to.

Matteo was grateful for that because he didn’t know how he would have reacted. He brushed past her to go to the living room, falling down on the couch and hiding his face against the cushions. He wasn’t exactly sure what he had imagined his return to Berlin to be like but he knew it wasn’t anything like this.

He was just glad that he could go back to the flat he had lived in before Italy — his flatmate Hans had called him at least fifty times in the last couple of days to make sure that today was the day he was coming back and when they could expect Matteo to get there. It was also Matteo’s safe excuse to leave his mum’s place at seven because his flatmates were expecting him.

It didn’t take long before Matteo couldn’t pretend to be asleep anymore. The food was ready and his mum said his name and brushed her fingers through his hair gently. Matteo yawned and stretched to keep up the pretense before sitting up.

He hated that his mother still had that guilty look on her face. “Slept well?” She asked meekly.

Matteo shrugged. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk anymore. Coming back here had been more exhausting so far than he had anticipated.

The awkward — and guilty — silence while they were eating was just even more draining. So Matteo quickly finished and then announced, “I should get back home, I promised my flatmates. Thank you for picking me up and food and- yeah.”

“Matteo…” Anja said in that specific voice and Matteo was just _tired_.

“Thanks, mama,” He said firmly, kissing her on the cheek, “See you soon.”

Matteo made a quick exit, taking a deep breath as soon as he was out of the house. It was incredible how much better he felt when he was on the subway to the shared flat. There were people all around him but everyone was minding their own business and leaving him the fuck alone. His skin didn’t feel as tight anymore but he still nervously picked at his nails. He’d only really feel better as soon as he was all alone.

Of course he still had to go through his flatmates welcoming him back but he hoped that wouldn’t take too long.

It was a little weird being back here after a year. Matteo wasn’t quite sure what the protocol was so he rang the doorbell instead of just using the key he still had.

Hans opened the door a moment later with a grand gesture, smiling at Matteo brightly. And Matteo found himself smiling back when Hans cooed, “Welcome back, my little butterfly!” And promptly engulfed him in a big hug.

“Hi Hans,” Matteo mumbled against his shoulder, kind of just falling into Hans. God, he couldn’t wait to sleep.

Hans was talking a million miles an hour but all Matteo could make out was something about how annoying the person who had rented Matteo’s room temporarily for the year had been.

“ _SURPRISE!_ ”

They’d made it to the living room and Matteo physically stepped back at the sudden loud scream, his heart beating too fast to be any kind of healthy.

The lights turned on and Matteo spotted a huge banner that read _Welcome back, Matteo!_ All his friends were there and suddenly everyone was hugging him and yelling in his ear, music was pounding and Matteo didn’t know how to breathe anymore. The panic was rising from his stomach to his chest to his throat, making his skin crawl and every touch made him jump. And Matteo had no idea how to make it stop.

Matteo just shut down. Later, he couldn’t remember anything that had happened, none of the million questions his friends had asked. He shut down and let himself be thrown around like a rag doll until he was finally able to get away.

In Italy, Matteo had unlearned the bad habit of smoking — mainly due to his grandma who he just couldn’t stand disappointing like that. But it was too easy now to go to that cigarette vending machine down the road and buy a pack, smoking half of it in the next ten minutes. His hands were shaking so much it was a miracle he even managed to light them.

After he had calmed down a little bit, Matteo just started walking, re-familiarising himself with Berlin. There was an abandoned building, about an hour long walk from the flat that he had come across several times before when he had sought refuge from his life. He’d never actually gone in. It was a large property, fenced off, with _No Trespassing_ signs everywhere. Matteo had done some research on it before, it was some old military base for the Soviets in World War II. It was once imposing and extravagant, now neglected and forgotten.

Matteo felt like it was exactly the right place to be right now. He’d give anything to be forgotten right now.

Matteo walked the estate slowly, taking in how nature reclaimed this place that didn’t seem imposing at all anymore. He’d been impressed by the pictures he had seen of it in its former glory but he thought he liked it better like this right now. It was quiet but somehow still alive — Matteo wondered if he just stayed here long enough, maybe he’d become a part of this, nature reclaiming him, forgotten by the outside world; how peaceful that must be.

He found a basement window that he could crawl through to get into what he assumed was the main building of the facility. It was pitch black inside so Matteo fumbled for his phone to turn on the flashlight.

Even with dirt covering everything and the chipped walls, Matteo felt breathless from what he saw. Abandoned as it was, it still felt as if Matteo was walking among the ghosts of those who had once lived here. Every gust of wind coming through the bashed in windows and rustling the dead leaves on the floor was a lost soul wandering these halls. Matteo wasn’t particularly spiritual but there was just something about being here that felt otherworldly.

Eventually, he found the room he’d been looking for- or well, he hadn’t specifically looked for it but hoped to stumble across it after seeing the pictures on the internet. 

The abandoned pool.

Stepping into the room with the high ceilings, his steps echoed against the walls. A shiver ran down Matteo’s spine.

As he walked around the pool, touching his fingers to the walls, he could really feel the ghosts of the past. It was as if they were breathing down his neck; it made him feel like he could take a swim in the pool even though it was empty nowadays. The shadows outside the light of his phone urged him to. If he drowned, no one would find him here. Eternal peace.

Matteo walked toward the columns across the room from the door. Where else would this place take him?

Thinking about ghosts this much, Matteo almost lost it when he suddenly came face to face with one of them. Walking around one of the columns, he suddenly crashed into a real life manifestation of a ghost. They were more solid — and warm — than Matteo would have expected.

He slapped a hand over his mouth before a screech could escape his throat. Ghosts weren’t real, ghosts weren’t-

“Okay, so how did you find me?”

The ghost had a really nice voice.

Matteo slumped against the next column. “How did I…” He trailed off, confused. His heart was calming down a little now so with his brow furrowed, he asked, “Wait, what are you doing here? You know there’s no trespassing allowed on this property? We make sure this place is kept in it’s best condition! We, as in, the Old Soviet Buildings Association-“

The ghost smiled and Matteo couldn’t help but return the smile. “What's your name?” The ghost asked, effectively interrupting him.

Matteo blinked slowly. He’d never felt like this; as if he and the ghost were the only two people in the world and nothing else existed beyond this tiny speck of light his phone was creating. “Matteo. What about you?”

Somehow, Ghosts seemed perplexed. “My name?”

“Yes, your name,” Matteo smiled, biting his lip.

He was looking at Matteo in awe. “I’m… David.” The smile was back on his face now.

Matteo wanted to stay exactly like this forever. Naturally, something had to interfere with those plans because Matteo was never just lucky. “Oh shit,” He cursed when he saw another flash of light and it revealed a man in uniform.

“What?” David looked around to where Matteo was looking, eyes widening like Matteo’s. “You go, I got this!” David said urgently.

“What are you gonna say?” Matteo asked, not sure if he was comfortable just leaving David to the mercy of the security guard. He came closer now and the light revealed a dog by his side, the shadows on him making look like an actual hellhound.

“The same you said. Except the Association part maybe. Now go!”

In his panic, Matteo pushed his phone against David’s chest, not wanting to make it easier for the security guard to track him down by just following the light.

He ran as fast as he could, blindly stumbling his way through the dark building. The farther away he got from the pool, and the surer he was that there were no footsteps following him, the more he smiled.

_David._


	2. Step Two: Cook for Your Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo I'm back with a second chapter! Honestly, I wanted to post this like a day after I posted the first one but I was advised not to do that (thanks Noah!) before I hadn't finished my third chapter. As it is, the third chapter isn't finished but I have another week before I post it and I'm confident I can finish it!
> 
> So someone on the last chapter wondered how many people reading this have actually seen the movie and I'm curious too so I made a fun little [questionnaire](https://forms.gle/spbvZ97yJa1EkBUQ6) (which obviously you don't have to fill out but it would be awesome if you did bc I'm like reallyyyyy curious)
> 
> Once again, thank you to Noah for beta-ing (so any pretentious scene you may find in this are in there because I ignored Noah's complaint about it lmao), go check his [writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twinklylightseverywhere/works) and his [tumblr](https://unendeligtid.tumblr.com/) out, he's awesome!

Matteo woke up with a start. He couldn’t really contemplate the really nice dream he’d had; something about floating in water and soft brown eyes and a smile that was so bright it rivalled the sun.

He reached out for his bedside table, fumbling around blindly for his phone. Matteo groaned when he couldn’t find it, contemplating if he should just give up or actually sit up to see where it was. 

After a couple seconds, he sighed and sat up but his phone wasn’t on the bedside table. Right away, there was this sinking feeling in his stomach. “Fuck!” He cursed, looking around as if his phone would magically appear. He thought back to last night; had he really lost his phone somewhere? His heart was beating like crazy, panic rising in his throat.

He remembered that he used the flashlight of his phone to find his way around the abandoned building but after that… his brain was on a loop of _Davidavidavidavidavid_.

“Fuck!” Matteo repeated before scrambling out of bed and throwing his pillow and blanket on the ground. But his phone was nowhere to be found. With a whine, he fell back on the bed headfirst.

He definitely couldn’t afford a new phone. Maybe if he traced back his steps? Go back to the abandoned building and maybe he was lucky?

To calm himself down, Matteo thought back to the boy he’d met yesterday. How giddy David had made him feel. His smile and his willingness to help when the security guard showed up-

It suddenly hit Matteo then. The security guard! And his own panic at being discovered and getting in trouble so he had _given his fucking phone to David_. Fuck, he was an idiot. Who did something as stupid as that?

Well.

Matteo apparently.

He let out another groan. _Alright_ , he thought, trying to relax. _Some more sleep couldn’t hurt_. He would figure out the rest later. He rolled over to his side, hoping he could go right back to the dream he’d had before.

The next time Matteo woke up, it was because of a drawn out “Luigi!” being whispered in his ear. Matteo grimaced, still half asleep, and swatted the person away.

“You’d think after a year away from your best friend, you’d be nicer to him,” Jonas muttered, completely unperturbed by Matteo’s antics. He wrapped his arms around Matteo, effectively stopping any movement. Jonas hooked his chin over Matteo’s shoulder and said, “Wakey wakey, sleepy head. I demand attention — and so do Carlos and Abdi.”

“No!” Matteo whined because he’d just been rudely woken up and he was not a morning person.

“Yes!” Jonas insisted and suddenly something wet was touching Matteo’s ear.

He screeched and rammed his elbow into Jonas’ stomach which earned him a breathless groan. “Did you just stick your fucking tongue in my ear?”

“Maybe,” Jonas laughed, “You awake now?”

Matteo considered inflicting more pain on him but what he ended up doing was just smacking his hand against Jonas’ forehead.

As they lay side by side, Jonas mused, “I really missed you, Luigi.”

“I missed you too, bro.” Matteo sighed, it should have been like this yesterday — no stress, just the good old shenanigans.

“Why did you miss your own party yesterday?” Jonas asked after a moment of silence.

It didn’t even cross Matteo’s mind to lie, that was how far he’d come. Sometimes, he let himself be proud of that. “It all got a bit overwhelming. I needed some time to myself.”

Jonas hummed in understanding. “Makes sense,” He nodded and that was that.

Matteo was honestly so grateful for him — and the other two boys as well — for simply accepting him the way he was. He truly had the best friends.

“This is okay though? Me being here? And Abdi and Carlos?” Jonas made sure.

Matteo could kiss him, honestly. No homo. “I’m glad you’re here,” He replied truthfully, turning his head to smile at Jonas.

As if on cue, the other two came storming into the room. “‘Sup, my dudes,” Abdi greeted, sprawling out at the foot of the bed. Carlos, on the other hand just unceremoniously planted himself on top of Matteo and Jonas.

“Fuck, I’m so hungover but man, I’m so happy the gang is back together,” Carlos said, voice muffled against Matteo’s shirt.

Jonas chimed in, “It really was an epic party!”

“Even though the main man was missing,” Abdi added, patting Matteo’s ankle.

“Anyway, give us the deets. How was Italy?” Carlos mumbled, still in the same position. 

Matteo rolled his eyes. They’d FaceTimed almost every week so they knew basically everything already.

“Any more good vibes?” Jonas asked in a teasing tone, wiggling his eyebrows.

Matteo flipped him off. There’d been _one_ guy during the whole year that he’d hooked up with and Carlos had talked about “good vibes” so much. It had led to the boys pestering Matteo until he had admitted that, yes, the _vibes_ had been pretty good. From then on, the teasing hadn’t stopped.

“Nope,” Matteo shook his head. Then he remembered the phone dilemma and added, “Talking about good vibes… I gave a guy my phone.”

That even made Carlos look up in interest. “You gave someone your number? Who is he? Is he cute? I bet he is, you have surprisingly good taste!”

“Hey!” Matteo pushed Carlos’ shoulder lightly, making him fall over immediately. “And no, I gave him my phone. Like, literally.”

“What the fuck, dude?” Jonas said, clearly confused, “Bro, you’re supposed to give them your _number_ not the whole ass phone.”

“I panicked!” Matteo defended himself, “And then I ran away.” Judging by the boys’ faces, they got it all wrong so Matteo explained the whole thing in more detail.

“So you like him?” Abdi concluded with a content little smile on his face.

Matteo shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know him. But…”

“The vibes,” Carlos nodded knowingly.

Matteo never entirely understood the whole vibes thing but now, with David, he felt like he finally got it. “Maybe,” He admitted.

“So let’s call him!” Jonas said and sat up.

“I don’t have his number!” Matteo pouted.

“But I have yours,” Jonas grinned, holding up his phone triumphantly.

Suddenly they were all sitting in a circle on the bed, three pairs of eyes expectantly on Matteo and the phone in his hands.

“So what do I say?” Matteo blurted eventually.

Jonas told him, “Just straight up say how it is. ‘Hey dude, you’re cute but can I have my phone back please?’”

“Hey dude, you’re cute but can I have my phone back please?” Matteo echoed.

“Ask him if he likes food and offer to make him your world-famous Pasta a la Luigi,” Abdi suggested.

Matteo groaned and told both of them, “You suck” before pressing the call button.

The call almost went to voicemail before someone picked up, that same syrupy voice he couldn’t get out of his head. “Hello?”

“Hi, uh. This is Matteo. The guy you met yesterday?” Matteo stuttered out, he was nervously tapping the fingers of his free hand against his knee.

The boys watched with large eyes.

“Matteo! Hi! I have your phone…”

Matteo smiled. “You do. I could come over to pick it up in a bit?”

David clicked his tongue. “It’s really bad timing right now. I’m super busy. Sorry. But maybe I could just drop it off tomorrow?”

Because the boys seemed to get more and more impatient, Matteo mouthed to them “tomorrow” which immediately made them do silent happy dances which quickly turned into very crude gestures. “Oh, uh. Sure. Yes. I’m free tomorrow.”

“Awesome!” David said and Matteo thought he heard a smile in his voice. “Okay, well. Text the address to your phone and I’ll see you tomorrow then? Sorry, I gotta go!”

Before Matteo could say anything else, David ended the call. 

“So?” Jonas asked eagerly.

“Tomorrow?” Carlos made sure.

“Tomorrow,” Matteo confirmed again, the stupidest smile on his face.

“Tomorrow!” Jonas, Abdi and Carlos cheered, high-fiving each other before attacking Matteo with a big group hug.

Later that day, he got a FaceTime call from his mother on his laptop that he considered not picking up. He was going right back to his pre-Italy patterns apparently. He sighed and hit the accept button, knowing it would be unfair to ignore his mother even though she hadn’t thought it was important to tell him what was going on in her life nowadays.

“Hey mum,” Matteo said quietly, forcing a smile on his face.

“Matteo, my darling,” She sounded relieved. “I was worried. You didn’t pick up your phone.”

Matteo nodded. “It’s not working right now.”

“Are you still upset?” Anja asked, looking at him with big eyes.

Yes, he was still upset but he wasn’t going to tell her that. “It’s fine,” He clipped.

She winced, so clearly she wasn’t buying his lie. “I’m really sorry, Matteo. I just want everyone to get along.”

Matteo shrugged. He didn’t know what to tell her because he definitely wasn’t in the mood to make her feel better about something he still felt shitty about. 

“Maybe if you met Lila…”

There it was. Matteo couldn’t say he was surprised. “Do I have a choice?”

Her silence said it all.

“When?”

“Sunday? I was thinking the four of us could brunch together, no pressure.” She had clearly planned ahead already.

The thing was, Matteo didn’t want to make it more complicated than it needed to be. He could tell his mother was happy and there was no need to be an asshole about the whole situation. He just felt left out and he didn’t like that feeling at all. So maybe actually making an effort would mean he’d get included in the future. “My place?” He suggested because if they were doing this, he wanted it to be in an environment he felt one-hundred percent comfortable in.

“That’s a lovely idea!” Anja smiled. “I love you, my beautiful son. You know that, right?”

“I love you too,” Matteo mumbled.

“See you Sunday then?” 

Matteo nodded, smiling before he ended the call.

Everything returned back to normal in the flat soon. Or rather, Matteo realised, the flat hadn’t really changed at all and he just had to get used to it again.

But on Saturday, he was woken up by _Total Eclipse of the Heart_ blaring through the flat. Musicals were Hans’ newest obsession Matteo had found out soon after his return and there was no getting away from it. Matteo found himself humming musical numbers more often than not.

“Hans!” Mia called from somewhere in the flat, she sounded annoyed.

Matteo smiled. It felt really good to know that nothing had really changed in the last year. He got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants that was lying on the floor by his opened suitcase.

“Hans, seriously!” Mia sighed, knocking on his door firmly when Matteo walked past her. “It’s your week to clean the bathroom. Have you looked at it recently? It’s gross!”

He saluted her before going to the kitchen to make himself some food. He hadn’t had the time to go shopping yet so hopefully his flatmates wouldn’t mind if he borrowed some bread and salami. The bread seemed pretty stale so he threw some ketchup on there as well.

When he heard Mia approaching, he quickly put another piece of bread on top of the salami so hopefully his flatmate wouldn’t see and admonish him as well. 

“Good morning,” She greeted him, then grabbed for a jar on the counter and looked inside. The sour expression on her face returned and she let out an ear-piercing, “Hans _Brecht_!” that made Matteo wince.

Mia was yelling about cookies and having made them for herself and Alex who was coming over while Matteo went back to his room. His laptop started chiming, telling him he got another FaceTime call from his mother.

“I was hungry! And I thought they were for the flat!” Hans defended himself.

“Hi, what’s up?” Matteo greeted her.

“Hi, darling. I was just wondering if you had any special wishes for the brunch tomorrow. I’m going grocery shopping now.”

Mia huffed, “And you didn’t think to _ask_ first?”

The doorbell rang and since Matteo was kinda busy right now, he called at no one in particular, “Can someone get that?”

Of course, there was no reaction. 

“Oh, uh, I’m not sure?” Matteo said. He picked up his laptop to go back into the hallway, balancing it in one hand while biting into his sandwich, hoping it wouldn’t completely fall apart while he quickly used his free hand to open the door. Some ketchup dropped on his white shirt as he came face to face with none other than David.

“I was thinking I could make that pasta salad you like so much?” His mother suggested.

Mia rushed past him through the hallway, yelling over her shoulder, “There are three cookies left, Hans! _Three_!”

On the other end of the hallway, Linn’s door opened and they asked quietly, “Can you please be a bit quieter? My guppies need to rest.” They didn’t even wait for an answer before disappearing back into their room.

Matteo looked from his mother to David. He hadn’t expected him here this early. 

Somewhere behind Anja, Matteo heard a girl screaming, “Dad! Dad! Dad! Dave is in Berlin with Beyond Detroit right now! Can we go to a concert please? Pleasepleasepleaseplease.”

Matteo was completely overwhelmed, too much was happening at once.

“Your phone,” David mouthed with a smile, holding it out to Matteo.

Matteo blinked stupidly, telling his mother, “I’ll call you back.” He shut his laptop and put it on the table they had by the door for keys and other paraphernalia. “Hi, sorry. And thank you!” Matteo grinned sheepishly, taking the phone.

“You seem busy, so I’ll head out again!” David said, waving at him awkwardly, “Bye, Matteo.”

It took Matteo way too long to process this so David was already halfway down the stairs before he even opened his mouth. Behind him, Hans and Mia were still arguing and Matteo knocked his head against the doorframe, groaning.

For once, there was a cute boy who seemed like he liked Matteo too and Matteo just completely fucked it up. _Fuck his life._

He slammed the front door shut and went back to his room, he finished his sandwich in three big bites and then grabbed his cigarettes for a smoke on the balcony. He leaned against the rails, inhaling deeply.

When he stubbed out his cigarette, his eyes were drawn down to the street because of the sound of someone throwing their bike on the sidewalk. A moment later, the doorbell rang again.

Matteo spotted the same beanie and sunglasses he had just seen a couple minutes before. “David?” He called down, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. David looked around in confusion until Matteo told him, “Up here!”

“Hey uhh…” David took a couple steps back to be able to look up at Matteo properly. “I was thinking- I don’t know, only if you want of course, but- do you wanna get out of here?”

A huge smile appeared on Matteo’s face. “And do what?” 

David shrugged. “Just hang out?”

Matteo nodded. “I’ll be down in a minute.” He quickly changed out of his stained shirt, throwing on his favourite sweater and jeans instead of sweatpants before heading downstairs. He buried his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Hi,” He said a little breathlessly.

“Na,” David smiled and bit his lip.

“What’s the plan?”

David shrugged. “I’m not sure. Let’s just go anywhere?” He pointed at his discarded bike. “You have one?”

They got on their bikes and Matteo let David lead the way, he didn’t really care where they were going. It was incredible that David even wanted to spend time with him after he’d shown only the worst sides of himself so far.

After a couple minutes of riding their bikes, David turned to look at Matteo over his shoulder, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Race you! Loser buys ice cream!” 

He took off before Matteo even realised what he had said and therefore had absolutely no chance to catch up with David. But that was okay because the wind carried David’s laugh to him and it was the best sound ever.

Down the road, by a lamp post, David stopped his bike, giggling uncontrollably. “I win,” He said, slightly out of breath.

“You cheated!” Matteo pouted, but he quickly started grinning. David’s happiness was infectious.

David furrowed his brow. “No, I didn’t. You just lost. Come on, I want my ice cream now!”

“I know a place,” Matteo offered.

For some reason, David seemed a little cagey when he asked, “Where?”

“Uh,” Matteo shrugged, “It’s a bit out of the way of everything if I’m honest. _But_ it’s so worth it! Closest thing to the True Italian Gelato Experience.”

Immediately, David’s expression lit up again. “Sounds fun!”

Twenty minutes later they were at the small gelateria and Matteo greeted the person behind the counter in Italian. He turned to David and said, “If you like stracciatella, you should get it because you’ll never have anything better except if you have it in Italy.”

David grinned and nodded, “Sure, let’s have stracciatella.”

Matteo turned back to the person and ordered two scoops of stracciatella for David and two scoops of black currant for himself — in Italian, because maybe he was trying to impress David.

As they walked out of the gelateria again, David mused, “I think I’ve actually passed this place a couple of times before but I never went in.” He tried his gelato and moaned. “Fuck. Worst decision ever to not go in.”

Matteo blushed at the sound, trying to remain cool. “T-told you,” He stuttered.

David grinned. “So you’re really into Italian ice cream and the language? Or are you actually Italian?”

“ _Matteo Florenzi_ ,” Matteo said in the way his grandma always pronounced his name, that Italian lilt that no one outside of Italy ever managed to get right. “Doesn’t get more Italian than that. Or well, technically it could. I’m half Italian, grew up there and just spent a year there again.”

“That’s really cool! I’ve always wanted to spend some time abroad.”

Matteo tried to figure out where David would wanna go. Norway maybe; it would be something unusual definitely. “Where?” He asked because he was genuinely curious now.

“Detroit,” He answered as if he had been waiting for that question. Before Matteo could ask why, David asked, “Do you like music?”

Matteo was a bit perplexed by the sudden change of subject but he nodded. “Yes? I guess?”

David grinned. “My favourite record store is two or so streets away, come on.”

Matteo quickly realised what that meant: he’d been to the gelateria a million times and if David had spent only half as much time at the record store, it meant there was a huge chance that they had passed each other before. Or the universe had gotten a huge kick out of them only ever almost meeting until now. Either way, it was unfair because Matteo wanted to spend as much time as possible with David.

The record store was in a basement, a narrow staircase leading down to it that Matteo would have missed if he’d been on his own. In fact, he almost missed it even with David being there who suddenly went down those stairs while Matteo was still walking right past the entrance, taking a couple steps before he realised David was gone.

It was a cramped store, the walls on either side lined with what Matteo assumed must be every record ever in existence. In a row in the middle were record players so that there were only two small aisles left to browse the records. The store was empty except for the girl behind the cash register. Matteo thought it was a good thing that they were the only people here because three already felt like a crowd in here.

“Hi Anna,” David greeted her and she winked at him in response before going back to reading the magazine in her lap.

While Matteo had no idea where to start looking or for what — he’d never owned a record player but Mia had one and he thought it was kinda cool — David seemed to know exactly what he wanted. He headed straight for one row of records and started flicking through them, so fast Matteo wasn’t sure he could even read the band or album names. If he was honest, Matteo was quite transfixed by the determination with which David was looking at the records.

Meanwhile, Matteo himself was just happy to lazily look through what the store had to offer, just content to find the records with the coolest cover art.

“Who’s your favourite artist?” David asked at some point, startling Matteo a little because David had seemed so focused and like he’d forgotten all about Matteo.

Matteo didn’t have to think about the answer for long. His past self would have answered KIZ because that seemed to be the safe, _manly_ response but for people who really knew him, they’d immediately detect the lie. And even though he could easily get away with the lie this time because David didn’t know him that well (yet), Matteo didn’t want to lie. “Sam Smith,” He told him, flicking through records more vigorously as a distraction because as much as he wanted to be honest, he was scared of getting a bad reaction.

“Mmh,” David hummed, “Good choice. His song HIM changed me.”

His words were like a punch to Matteo’s stomach and simultaneously, Matteo felt like he was flying. None of his friends had ever been able to relate to his love for Sam Smith and therefore, he’d never told them how HIM had made him cry the first time he had listened to it. It knocked the breath out of Matteo to think back to how lonely he’d been not too long ago. In some aspects, he still was lonely but now, apparently, he had at least one boy in his life that seemed to _understand_ and well. That was something that made Matteo’s heart soar. 

“Me too,” He mumbled belatedly. Their eyes met and they didn’t have to say more. They both just knew.

It wasn’t long before David picked a record and put it on, unceremoniously unplugging the headphones attached to the record player so the music was audible in the whole store.

As soon as the first funky beats started playing, Anna groaned, “You _always_ play that.”

“Marvin Gaye’s a classic, okay?” David laughed, shimmying to the music and Matteo died a little. He was falling hard and fast.

They listened to a couple songs on that record before David suggested, “Matteo, you pick an album now.”

“Uhh…” Matteo had no idea which record to choose and he didn’t want to embarrass himself with his choice either.

David smiled when he noticed Matteo’s hesitation. He walked over to him and said, “Together?”

Matteo liked that idea a lot more. “Together.” He was in deep if a single word made him feel this giddy.

And then David linked their pinkies which almost made Matteo pass out. Their linked hands hovered over the records for a couple seconds before they settled on one. David pulled it out and when he saw the cover, he snorted, a screech leaving his lips. “I can’t believe this,” David laughed.

Matteo had no clue what was going on but he enjoyed the sight of David like this, shining eyes and happy smile.

“I can’t believe you still have a copy of this,” David directed at Anna.

Matteo took a closer look at the record David was holding up, trying to figure out which band it was but the cover gave no indication of it at first sight. It was a photograph of a tree with a doodle of a bird in blue ballpoint pen layered over it. It was actually pretty awesome. “I love that,” He blurted.

David raised his eyebrows, surprised. “Yeah? The album?”

Matteo blushed. “I meant the cover art actually. I like the bird. Like, I like it when you have a picture and you put something you made yourself on top of it,” He rambled, trailing off when he realised he was probably making a fool of himself.

David nudged him. “That’s called a collage,” He teased but there was no malice in his words. “I- uh- I actually made that.”

Matteo looked at him with wide eyes. “Really? How- that’s your art? It’s so beautiful!”

“Mmh,” David hummed, “I don’t know, it’s not that special.”

Matteo grabbed the record from David and trailed his fingers over the cover. “No, it’s very special,” He mumbled. As he was looking more closely at it, Matteo noticed what he assumed must be the band’s name written on the trunk of the tree in a simple font. _beyond detroit_.

Something about the name sounded familiar; Matteo tried to remember if and where he’d heard it before — because he was pretty sure he’d never listened to any of their songs. And then it clicked: hadn’t Lila talked about that band when he had FaceTimed with his mother? But that couldn’t be right… looking at the record, it seemed to be some indie band or something very obscure at least but if a twelve year old girl got so hype about it, shouldn’t it be more a band of the likes of One Direction? 

Matteo’s brow was furrowed when he said, “Isn’t Beyond Detroit some sucky pop shit mainstream trash? I think my sister mentioned them.” He was gonna figure out later what it meant that he was calling Lila his sister already.

“Sucky pop shit mainstream trash,” David repeated, amusement glinting in his eyes. “Well, first of all, as far as I know, they’re actually a rock band. Secondly, this album,” He indicated the one Matteo was still holding, “Is from before Beyond Detroit took off so I guess you’re right, it’s less mainstream and very few people actually know it exists. And last but not least, I’m the singer of that sucky pop shit mainstream trash band.”

Matteo snorted. “No, you’re not but nice try.”

“I swear I am!” David insisted.

“You’re funny,” Matteo giggled, “Wanna tell me what you’re actually doing?”

David smirked. “Are you fast on your bike? Because I’ll prove it to you.”

Matteo was confused about what David had in mind but he played along. “Okay, sure.”

David took the record back from Matteo and walked over to the cash register. “This one, please,” He told Anna. He paid for it even though Anna wanted to give it to him for free and grabbed the paper bag she put it in afterwards. “This is for you,” David smiled when he was back in front of Matteo and then asked, “Ready?”

They left the record store and were back on their bikes, David leading them to what Matteo soon realised was a busier part of Berlin.

“Fair warning, this is gonna be intense. You either are fast enough or you die,” David said ominously.

Matteo was as confused as ever. “Okay?”

David smirked and then screamed, “Oh my god is that Beyond Detroit?” 

In the blink of an eye, a group of young girls whipped their heads around and as soon as they spotted David, they started screaming hysterically.

“Go, go, go!” David yelled at Matteo who started pedalling like crazy, following after David.

The horde of girls ran after them, screaming variations of “Dave!” and “We love Beyond Detroit!”

“We’re in Berlin though!” Matteo yelled at them over his shoulder, giggling as the adrenaline coursed through his veins and they put more and more distance between them and the fans. So it seemed David hadn’t been joking after all — Matteo didn’t know what to think about that. He probably needed time to process.

They ended up back Matteo’s shared flat eventually and Matteo feared his time with David was running out now. It had gotten quite late.

While Matteo desperately tried to find an excuse to ask David to stay a little longer to hang out, David asked, “Hey, uh, turns out ice cream isn’t very filling. Any chance you got some food?”

Matteo knew for a fact that he didn’t have any food. “Sure,” He nodded, “There should be some bread left.”

“Sweet,” David grinned and followed Matteo into the flat.

It was decidedly quieter now than a couple hours earlier when David had first shown up at the flat. Matteo supposed Hans had gone out with his voguing friends and Mia was probably with Alex. And who the fuck knew what Linn was up to most of the time.

“This is a cool place,” David noted when Matteo led him to the kitchen. 

“Yeah, you think so? We got lucky. Had to move from the old flat because of water damage and my flatmate’s uncle got us this place,” Matteo said, rummaging through the fridge for anything edible to put on the bread. He considered the whipped cream in the door of the fridge. “How adventurous are you?” He asked, turning around to wiggle his eyebrows at David.

David seemed confused and answered slowly, “A little maybe?”

Matteo smirked and grabbed the whipped cream. “Italian delicacy,” He explained while also grabbing the jar of pickles.

“Sounds fake but okay.”

“Just you wait and see,” Matteo said, giggling uncontrollably.

The finished sandwich was something like this: Hans’ salami, cheese, whipped cream and pickles. For the ultimate kick, they added some spices (mostly chili because that always had to be in everything).

Once the sandwiches were grilled, David and Matteo looked at each other expectantly, waiting for the other to take the first bite. “Together?” David suggested in the end.

“Okay,” Matteo agreed, grinning. This was gonna be a disaster. Matteo took a bite, slow and deliberate, bracing for the worst. It was- well, it definitely wasn’t good.

“Weird but good,” David said after a moment, chewing slowly.

Matteo shook his head. The only good thing about this was that they’d used so much chili that his eyes started watering immediately and his taste buds died a painful death.

David was laughing, taking another bite of his sandwich — Matteo really admired him.

“We can finish them on the balcony if you want,” Matteo offered, pointing his thumb in the direction of his room.

In his room, Matteo grabbed his pack of cigarettes before going to the balcony, offering David the folding chair he usually used and grabbing one leaning against the wall for himself. 

It was a nice night, just warm enough to sit there in a t-shirt without it being chilly. Not for the first time Matteo wished he didn’t live in the city where he could only spot the odd star in the sky. That had been one of his favourite things in Italy; his grandparents lived in a tiny village so that the night sky was always littered with stars.

While they finished their sandwiches — David a lot faster than Matteo because he seemed to actually, inexplicably enjoy it — they didn’t really talk. It surprised Matteo that the silence wasn’t uncomfortable at all. With everyone he knew, with the exception of his three best friends, it always felt like someone had to say something which tended to get exhausting very quickly.

When Matteo was done eating, he plugged a cigarette from the pack. “Do you want one?” He asked David, holding the pack out to him.

David shook his head. “I try not to. Being a singer and all that.”

Matteo nodded. He’d already forgotten about that again. “It must be nice,” He said, deep in thought, “To have everything figured out.”

David huffed a laugh. “You think I have everything figured out?”

Matteo shrugged, “You haven’t?”

“I don’t know,” David murmured, falling silent for a couple minutes. Matteo let the silence stretch out. “It’s just- okay, so. Technically I should have everything figured out, right? I know where my life is supposed to be going career-wise for the next two years at least. But I don’t have much say in it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome, I love what I’m doing and I’m so grateful but just in certain aspects, I’d like to have more of a choice, you know?”

Matteo thought about it but eventually came to the conclusion, “I think I’d like it. Having someone else make all the decisions for me and I’m just following. Seems easier, don’t you think?”

“Not always.”

Matteo expected David to add more but there was nothing but silence. Matteo smoked his cigarette with the only sound being the traffic beneath them.

They spent a couple more hours out on the balcony, talking a million miles an hour and in the next moment just enjoying each other’s company silently. The next time Matteo checked his phone for the time it was almost three in the morning. “Hey, do you- you could stay and sleep on the couch. Maybe. If you want. I don’t know,” Matteo muttered, feeling ridiculous for being so nervous about asking this when they’d just talked for hours.

David smiled. “Yeah. Thank you. I think I’m falling asleep at any second now.”

Matteo stood up. “Come on. Let’s get some sleep.”

Once David had a blanket and an old shirt from Matteo to sleep in, they stood across from each other a little awkwardly after all.

“I hope you’ll have it comfortably enough!” Matteo said, biting his lip. 

“Thanks again!”

“Okay, uh. Goodnight, David.” Matteo had no idea what he was doing and if anyone called him out on it, he could blame it on being dead tired. He stepped closer to David and when he realised what was happening it was already too late so he clumsily kissed David on the cheek. “I- I’ll see you in the morning,” He rushed out before leaving the living room quickly.

Back in his room, he took the record David had bought from its paper bag and just looked at it again. He wanted to listen to it immediately, maybe fall asleep to David’s singing voice, but to steal Mia’s record player, he’d have to go through the living room again and he had no idea how to explain that to David.

So even though Matteo was tired as fuck, he had a hard time falling asleep, knowing that David was in the next room over. His heart was flip flopping like crazy and every few seconds, he had to muffle his giggles in his pillow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like the changes I made to the movie or if you haven't seen the movie if you like the story! Every single comment and kudos makes me so happy!
> 
> You can also come talk to me on [tumblr](https://matteoohno.tumblr.com/) (I'm also taking prompts and if any of you have sent me prompts already which I haven't answered yet, I WILL, I promise. I'm just really excited for this little baby right now but I will write your prompts!)


	3. Step Three: Go to a Meet & Greet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii lovelies <3
> 
> Sorry sorry this is late. Buuuut it's here now and I hope you'll like it! I hope I can get back on track to post the next chapter as planned on Monday. This week shouldn't be as busy as last week so the chances are good. 
> 
> I nearly gave Noah a heart attack when he read over this so yeah, brace yourselves? Thanks, babe, for suffering through all that secondhand embarrassment lmaoooo
> 
> You can still fill out this little [survey](https://forms.gle/GX486ySnrwi9aFoZ7) if you want bc it's really fun for me to see who has actually seen the movie and who hasn't. That reminds me! For the person on the survey that asked if this is a German movie: yes, it is. The English title is Single by Contract.

There was a high-pitched scream that probably woke up all of Berlin and a moment later, another deeper scream joined the first one. It definitely woke up Matteo. He was on his feet before he knew it, wide awake in the blink of an eye but disoriented as he stumbled out of his room.

In the living room, he found a dishevelled David and a blond girl screaming at each other while the girl was holding up her phone.

“You’re Dave, you’re Dave!” She said over and over again, sounding more breathless every time.

Some part of Matteo’s brain told him that that must be Lila but he wasn’t much concerned about good first impressions when he stepped toward her and ripped the phone out of her hand. “What the  _ fuck _ are you doing?” He asked, deleting every picture and video she’d taken.

“It’s Dave! He’s the singer of Beyond Detroit! You know Dave! Oh my god! Dad!”

When Anja and Sven stepped into the living room, alarmed expressions on their faces, Matteo remembered the stupid bruch he’d agreed to. “Fuck my life,” He muttered, meeting David’s gaze sheepishly.

David seemed shaken but put on a smile. “I should get dressed and head out probably,” He said.

Matteo’s shoulders sagged. This wasn't what he’d imagined this morning to look like. “You can get dressed in my room. I’ll keep  _ her _ ,” He shot Lila a venomous glance which she didn’t see because she only had eyes for David, screeching to her father, “Away from you. I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“

“It’s fine, really,” David interrupted him, smile turning more genuine. He picked up all his clothes and when he walked past Matteo to his room, he squeezed Matteo’s arm.

Matteo was so annoyed, he didn’t even care about how horrible the rest of brunch would be when he turned back to Lila once David was safely in his room and hissed, “How about, the next time you visit someone, you don’t fucking harass people staying there?”

“Matteo,” Anja said carefully.

“But it’s  _ Dave _ ,” Lila defended herself, “He’s a  _ rockstar _ !”

Matteo pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stay as calm as possible. “So? He’s still human! Don’t shove cameras in people’s faces if they didn’t give you permission!”

In that moment, Linn walked into the living room. “There’s a hot lady in a suit at the door,” She announced.

Matteo looked at her in confusion. He hadn’t even heard the doorbell during this whole mess. “Okay?”

On cue, said woman flanked by a bulky man who was in a suit as well walked in. “I’d say good morning but that would be a lie because thanks to you I had to spend all morning trying to find my client. Who you’re holding hostage as it seems.”

“What?” Matteo stared blankly at her. In any other situation, he’d probably laugh at the ridiculousness of it all but he was quite intimidated by the woman if he was being honest.

“Laura, chill. I’m fine and no one is holding me hostage.” David walked out of Matteo’s room, walking up to Laura. “I’m sorry for disappearing for the whole night. It won’t happen again,” He told her quietly.

“Promise,” She said, pulling him into a tight embrace which didn’t really fit her cool demeanour before.

“Promise.”

Laura cleared her throat and was back in business mode. “Okay. Let’s go. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us and we already wasted precious time.” 

She barely left David enough time to say goodbye and once the door was shut behind them, Matteo could only stare blankly at it. He felt strangely hollow. To make matters worse, there was a horrible headache pounding against his temples and he still had to get through the brunch.

“You know Dave from Beyond Detroit! Oh my god, I can’t believe it!” Lila squealed when Matteo joined them again. “This is the coolest thing ever! Can you introduce me to him properly next time? He’s so dreamy!”

Matteo ignored her. He needed some coffee before he could deal with any of this. And a cigarette,  _ fucking hell. _ He wondered how long he could stay away before his mother would get him to actually have brunch with them.

He was on his third cigarette, wondering when he’d see David again — if at all — when someone cleared their throat behind him.

When Matteo looked over his shoulder, he was surprised to see Lila hovering in the doorway.

“Hi,” She said meekly, fumbling with the hem of her shirt.

Matteo quickly stubbed out his cigarette, not wanting to be a bad role model for a little girl. “Hey,” He muttered, feeling awkward because he had no idea what she wanted from him.

“I wanted to say sorry for earlier. I just got really excited and yeah…” She whispered, looking at the floor.

“Oh.” Matteo hadn’t expected an apology but he appreciated it. He also realised that maybe he had overreacted because he was jealous; jealous that Lila had just stumbled into his life, had taken his old room and was already such a big part of his mother’s life and it all had happened while he’d been away. “You really like Beyond Detroit, huh?” Matteo asked, walking back into his room and letting himself fall into his bean bag. He didn’t quite feel ready to face Sven and his mother but if Lila wanted to chill here, he thought he’d be okay. He was gonna make an effort.

“Dave is so pretty,” Lila giggled, blushing.

It was weird hearing Lila refer to David as “Dave” but he figured that must be his stage name or something — the fans they had encountered yesterday had also yelled that name. Maybe it made Matteo feel a little special to be someone who was allowed to call David by his real name. Matteo smiled to himself. “Yeah,” He muttered, not really thinking about it.

“Are you…” Lila’s eyes were ridiculously wide and she lowered her voice conspiratorially, “ _ Also _ in love with him?”

“No, I’m not,” Matteo was quick to say — a little too quickly probably but Lila didn’t seem to notice anything off.

Lila grinned. “Okay good. Because now that I know you’re friends, you can introduce us and he can become my boyfriend,” She stated matter-of-factly.

Matteo couldn’t help but laugh because maybe he could relate just a little bit. Back when he’d been ten or eleven and One Direction had just started out, he’d had such a massive crush on Louis that it was astonishing how much longer it had taken him to realise he was gay. “Doesn’t he have a say in that?” Matteo wondered, teasing a little.

Lila seemed to think about that, brows furrowed. She took a deep breath before deciding, “… _ maybe _ .”

Matteo figured that his new sister wasn’t too bad after all. If anything, her crush on David was very relatable.

Somehow Matteo managed to make it through brunch. He’d mainly focused on Lila so he could ignore his complicated feelings about his mother and her new boyfriend for a while longer. Anyway, it probably was more important to make Lila feel comfortable in what Matteo realised was a new environment for her too and could probably be quite overwhelming at times. He just never wanted her to feel as unwelcome as he did by his own family at that age. And he’d like to think that Lila appreciated that even though he guessed that she was mainly interested in him right now because of his friendship with David.

Matteo was back in Berlin for only a couple of days and it felt like he hadn’t had a second just for himself in that time. He didn’t mind it all that much — of course, the surprise party had been a lot but now his friends actually let him have a word when it came to hanging out with them.

After surprisingly surviving brunch, Matteo finally had the chance to check his phone. The boys had blown up their group chat since yesterday. There were the wildest theories of why Matteo wasn’t replying and most of them made Matteo blush a deep shade of red. He decided it was probably best if he didn’t read all of the messages so he scrolled all the way to the end. The most recent message was from Abdi, just a very desperate  _ Matteoooooo!!!!! _

Matteo smiled to himself when he typed,  _ beers at carlos’ tonight? _

It took half a second for the replies to come in and Matteo had the suspicion that all three of the boys had obsessively checked their phones for a sign from Matteo.

After a lot of demanding answers about his date with David (had it really been a date, though? Matteo had just wanted his phone back after all) which Matteo didn’t give them, they agreed to meet at Carlos and Kiki’s flat at 7:30. Carlos told them he’d made Kiki go out with her friends so they could have a proper boys’ night without any interruptions.

Matteo was actually excited for it. 

Naturally, Matteo only made it to Carlos’ place at eight because he was a little shit who wanted to make his friends wait just that little bit longer before they heard the whole story about him and David.

“Matteo,  _ brudi _ !” The boys greeted him enthusiastically, shooting him expectant glances. Matteo could tell it took great effort not to bombard him with questions already.

“Tell us everything!” Abdi said conspiratorially, sitting at the edge of the couch and leaning toward Matteo.

“How about you get me a beer first?” Matteo raised his eyebrows, enjoying this way too much.

Carlos grabbed a bottle for him and they clinked them together. Matteo hadn’t even swallowed yet, when Jonas demanded, “Come on, tell us already how your date went!”

“Technically, it wasn’t a date,” Matteo pointed out.

Carlos rolled his eyes. “Are you sure about that, dude? Did you spend more time together after he gave back your phone?”

“I bet you did!” Abdi chimed in, “Or you would have replied to us earlier! Spent the night together, didn’t you?” He was wiggling his eyebrows in a way that made it very clear what he was insinuating.

Matteo groaned, even though he wasn’t really annoyed. Before he had come out to them, they’d had conversations just like this one a million times. Back then, however, it had always been about some girl Matteo had made up just to get them off his back. So this change was actually really nice; to be able to talk about his love life just like this without his friends making it into something abnormal. “We did not spend the night together,” He paused for a second, grimacing, “Not in the way that you think at least.”

“Oooh!” The boys went absolutely wild at the admission. “What does that mean?” Jonas asked eagerly. At this point, all three of them were leaning in way too close to Matteo.

To get his personal space back, Matteo moved away from his friends to sit on the backrest of the couch. His head thumped against the wall and he explained, “Well, he stayed the night because it got pretty late.” Speaking a little louder to drown out the excited noises they were making, Matteo clarified, “ _ But _ he slept on the couch.”

“Did you sleep on the couch  _ with _ him?” Abdi teased, making the other two cackle.

“No!”

Carlos took a sip of his beer, looking at Matteo for a long moment. “So the vibes were good,” He said, not really a question.

Matteo answered anyway. “Yeah, we- I- we had a good time.” He couldn’t believe he was actually blushing now. He raised his beer bottle to his lips and mumbled, “It’s just beautiful with him.” Maybe the boys had missed those words.

But of course they had heard him. Carlos patted Matteo’s leg encouragingly, Abdi was a screeching mess and Jonas looked like a proud dad.

Matteo wanted to hide somewhere, pretend that what he was feeling right now was just a stupid little crush that he’d be over in a couple of days but he knew that was hardly likely. He’d never felt anything quite like this, never this quickly or intensely. He was absolutely gone for this boy. So instead of hiding, he told his friends about his day with David in detail, blushing more and more with every supportive sound or word coming from the boys.

When Matteo got to the point where he revealed that David was the lead singer of Beyond Detroit, he was surprised to see their jaws drop. It hit him then that Beyond Detroit wasn’t just a band that was popular with young girls. They were actually  _ famous _ .

“Kiki wanted us to go to one of their concerts here in Berlin but the tickets were sold out in a matter of  _ minutes _ ,” Carlos mused, “It’s crazy.”

Matteo shrugged. “I don’t know, he’s just David to me. I don’t care about the other stuff.”

“Whipped,” Abdi laughed, making a whipping noise.

Jonas, ever the supportive best friend, asked, “So when are you seeing him again?”

Matteo faltered. Everything had gone so fast this morning that he didn’t have a chance to find out if David even  _ wanted _ to see him again. Something heavy settled in his stomach. His brow was furrowed when he replied, “I’m not sure. We, uh- we didn’t really exchange numbers or anything…”

“What the-“ Abdi threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “You’re fucking with us, right?” Carlos asked and Jonas said, “You’re not serious.”

Matteo shrugged his shoulders and his friends just stared at him, appalled expressions on their faces.

“Let me get this straight,” Carlos said slowly, “You reel in a fucking rockstar, the vibes are fantastic, and you  _ let him go _ again?”

Matteo closed his eyes, grimacing. Hearing it out loud made it even worse somehow.

“He’s a rockstar, you’ll  _ never _ see him again!” Abdi whined.

“Dude,” Jonas hissed and Matteo couldn’t see it but he knew from the pained sound Abdi made that Jonas had elbowed him. “Not helping.”

Matteo groaned. He was very aware of all of that — and yet, he still had hope. “It was a coincidence meeting him for the first time, maybe it’ll happen again,” Matteo mused.

Judging by the guys’ pitying looks, they doubted that. At least they were good friends and didn’t crush Matteo’s hopes right away, instead they just drank quietly and moved on to different topics soon after.

A week later (that Matteo did  _ not _ spend listening to the Beyond Detroit record over and over again and googling David before he realised how creepy that was) Matteo found himself in the Ritz-Carlton. He felt utterly out of place in his baggy jeans and even baggier sweater.

But Abdi had a foolproof plan for Matteo to meet David again so what else was Matteo supposed to do?

If the entrance hall weren’t as busy as it was, more hotel staff would have probably sent him suspicious glances or just thrown him out right away. Luckily, he only got a few disinterested looks from staff before they hurried off to wherever they had to be.

Matteo was still incredibly nervous because Abdi hadn’t revealed any details to his plan and they should have met here ten minutes ago and Abdi was nowhere to be seen.

“Hey!”

Matteo jumped, scared he had been deemed too suspicious after all and would get in trouble but it turned out Abdi had finally decided to make an appearance. “Where have you been?” Matteo hissed, not even trying to hide his annoyance.

“It takes careful planning to be appointed Best Wingman Ever. You can thank me later,” Abdi grinned and held up a badge. In bright letters, the badge said  **RADIO DRUCK FM** and in smaller letters beneath it,  _ Staff _ . 

“What?” Matteo asked dumbfounded, unable to make sense of this.

Abdi’s smile was as large as it could get. “Sam’s doing an internship with Radio Druck and I persuaded her to help me out. They’re doing a meet and greet with Beyond Detroit today. And  _ you _ ,” He swatted Matteo on the chest, “Will take part in it.”

“How?”

“Come on.” Abdi pulled on Matteo’s arm and to a column that hid them from sight from some couches. Two teenagers were sitting on them, nervously jiggling their legs. “See them? You’ll be one of them, meeting David instead.”

Matteo’s vocabulary was currently very limited as he was trying to process the whole situation so he just asked, “What?” again.

“Watch this.” Abdi straightened his shirt and put on a slightly terrifying smile before he walked toward the excited fans.

Matteo was no stranger to being a total snake and if he hadn’t spent all week pining over a guy he’d probably never see again, he’d feel bad about all of this. But this was his only chance to see David again and figure out if there was anything to pursue between them. This was why Matteo didn’t feel too bad just watching Abdi talk to the boy and the girl.

“You’re here to meet Beyond Detroit, right?” Abdi asked, that creepy smile still on his face. Matteo wished he would tone it down a bit.

“Dave, yes!” The girl said breathlessly and the boy nodded excitedly — he actually looked quite pale, Matteo worried he’d pass out any moment.

Abdi nodded importantly. “Thrilling, isn’t it? Unfortunately, we have to postpone the meet and greet. It’ll be at 14:30 instead of 13:30 now.”

Both of them visibly deflated. “But!” Matteo hadn’t thought Abdi’s smile could turn even more manic, “To pass the time quicker, you can go on an exclusive Beyond Detroit tour through Berlin!”

Their excitement was limited. “I’d rather wait here,” The boy said, “I don’t wanna miss Dave.”

Abdi lowered his voice conspiratorially and Matteo had to strain his ears to hear what he was saying. “You’ll get to see the cafe where Dave usually hangs out at.”

They looked at each other for a second, hesitating. The girl took a deep breath, nodding, “Okay.” And the boy seemed to be on board as well.

Abdi clapped his hands. “Perfect! Let’s go!” He guided the two toward the exit and shot Matteo a wink before he disappeared.

Matteo dutifully sat down on the couch, probably looking just as nervous as those two fans had looked.

Only ten minutes later, a strict-looking woman approached him. “Linus and Sherin? You’re here for the meet and greet?” She looked up from her clipboard, brow furrowing when she only saw Matteo. “Where’s your friend?” She wanted to know.

Matteo gulped down his nerves and mumbled, “Bathroom.”

The woman heaved a sigh. “We don’t have time for this, we’re on a tight schedule here. Come on, time for you to meet Beyond Detroit!”

Matteo stood up, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. 

The woman led him through a maze of hallways, explaining, “You’ve got ten minutes. One photo, autographs and one question. Understood?”

“Okay,” Matteo squeaked. This was possibly the most nerve-wracking thing he’d ever done. He kept telling himself it would all be worth it because he’d get to see David again.

They stopped at a door and the woman turned to him again. “Ten minutes,” She reminded him, “And no screaming.”

Matteo briefly wondered if he looked like a screamer but then the door opened. It was honestly a little overwhelming to see how many people could fit into such a comparatively tiny room. There was a camera set up to the left but Matteo’s focus was on the couch in the middle of the room with David draped over it.

Matteo’s view of him was blocked a second later when a girl approached him. “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Leonie,” She said, shaking his hand and Matteo could tell she wore her public persona smile — nothing about it was real.

Next was another girl, taller than the first one, introducing herself as Sara. She seemed a lot more genuine than Leonie. Matteo had seen both of them in pictures before when he was looking up David.

And then David approached Matteo. He looked very different to what Matteo was used to. His hair was pristine and done up rather than hidden by a beanie or wind-swept; instead of a comfortable hoodie, he wore a button down. And his face was- well, he was still the most handsome boy Matteo had ever seen but there was something  _ plastic _ about it now. This was Dave, not David.

Matteo saw surprise flicker in David’s eyes for a nanosecond, before his indifferent expression was back in place. He shook Matteo’s hand with all the professionalism that was probably expected of him — like they’d never spent all of last Saturday together, getting to know each other.

“Hi, I’m Dave. Pleasure to meet you.”

Matteo felt sick. He wanted to say something to get a reaction out of David, to get some recognition, anythingthat told him David hadn’t been replaced by some terrifying robot. But no words came out of him.

The woman from before manhandled him toward the camera and the band assembled around him.

“Everyone smile,” The photographer instructed but Matteo was too dazed to comply. “Another one,” The photographer sighed.

Again, Matteo just stood there, frozen.

“Not much of a smiler, are you?” The photographer asked, rolling his eyes.

A moment later, Matteo sat on the couch, David next to him. Their knees were touching but there was no comfort in it.

“Ask your question,” The woman said.

_ Who are you? _ Matteo wanted to ask David but of course he didn’t.

As the silence dragged on, the woman told him, “Just ask Dave about a girlfriend. Everyone wants to know that.”

Matteo remembered seeing at least ten headlines talking about how Dave hadn’t found the right one yet. 

However, he didn’t even have to say anything before Dave recited, “I’m still single. I just haven’t found the right girl yet to settle down with.”

“Brilliant!” The woman said, “Now the autographs and we’re done here.” She handed out picture cards for the three band members to sign. “His name is Linus.”

Matteo watched David write the “for” before hesitating. Matteo closed his eyes for a second, hoping that David would write down his actual name, give him just this one thing. But when he opened his eyes again, it said  _ For Linus _ and Dave signed it in looping handwriting. 

“Okay, say goodbye, Linus,” The woman instructed, making an impatient hand gesture.

“Goodbye, Linus,” Matteo echoed, not looking back when he was manoeuvred out of the room.

Back in the entrance hall of the hotel, Matteo almost instantly spotted Abdi waving his arms around frantically. Matteo was too exhausted to try to figure out what Abdi was trying to tell him.

And then suddenly, he was violently pushed back, knocking into a Beyond Detroit cutout and falling to the ground. There was a heavy weight on top of him that turned out to be none other than the actual Linus.

He was grabbing Matteo’s hair, smashing Matteo’s head against Cutout Dave’s face. “You motherfucker stole my spot!” He yelled.

Matteo didn’t have the energy to fight him and even when Linus stopped — was stopped — trying to murder him, Matteo just lay there, wondering if all of this had been worth it. All for a guy who clearly didn’t give a fuck about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know how you liked it in the comments and how much you died of secondhand embarrassment. You can also come chat to me on [tumblr](https://matteoohno.tumblr.com/)!


	4. Step Four: Get Invited to a Concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people!
> 
> I am so sorry for my long absence! Before I had this huge writer's block, I actually wrote quite a big chunk of this chapter already but then with moving to a different country, the planning that went into that and getting used to everything new, I really neglected writing. And whenever I actually tried to sit down and write something, it was just impossible. I don't remember how many times I looked at the doc for this fic in frustration, trying to write more. It's especially frustrating because I knew all along where I wanted this chapter to go and what had to happen but I just couldn't actually get it down on the page.
> 
> That's why I'm so happy now that I can finally share this chapter with you! That being said, I want to give a huge shout out to daggi_lpves_music here on ao3, who left me a comment on my birthday that made me get back into writing. Thanks for that birthday present ;)  
> In general, all your continued support, every ask on tumblr or comment I got here mean the world to me! Thank you so so much!
> 
> With that being said, I don't know when another chapter will be out. I hope it's not gonna take another six months, I really really hope it won't. But no matter when I'll post again, I won't give up on this story, I can promise that much!
> 
> Also thank you to [Noah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twinklylightseverywhere/pseuds/Twinklylightseverywhere) who's proof reading this story and is probably super tired of my fractured sentences by now. He's also given me tips regarding David's coming out which I'm very grateful for. Check his stories out, you won't regret it! (He's currently posting a brand new, super cute fic so go read when you're done with this chapter!)
> 
> And now: enjoy this chapter, I hope it was worth the wait!

Matteo’s head was throbbing, he could feel the bruise forming and Abdi talking nonstop didn’t help. He kept asking how things had gone with David but all that Matteo wanted was to forget that name. If he was honest, Matteo was confused. He had been so sure that there was something between him and David. There were moments that Matteo wanted to give David the benefit of the doubt, maybe Matteo had overwhelmed him with just showing up unannounced. But if that were the case, shouldn’t Matteo have seen something in his eyes? 

“If Sam’s gonna kill me, I hope at least all this effort will get you laid,” Abdi concluded when they got back to Matteo’s flat.

Matteo grunted. The way things were looking right now, he was definitely  _ not _ going to get laid.

Abdi followed Matteo upstairs without question, even though Matteo would rather be alone. However, maybe some company wasn’t the worst idea because Matteo knew that if he was actually alone, he’d think way too much.

It turned out Abdi was a pretty great friend because when they entered Matteo’s room, Carlos and Jonas were already lounging on Matteo’s bean bag chairs. Jonas held out a joint. “Got your message, got everything ready,” Jonas directed at Abdi.

Matteo eyed them curiously. “What message?” He wanted to know.

“In the  _ Matteo Emergency _ group chat,” Carlos blurted before the other two could stop him. They were now shooting Matteo mildly alarmed looks and there was a hint of murder in their eyes when they looked at Carlos.

Matteo processed that new bit of information. He wasn’t sure if he felt flattered or concerned about the fact that apparently his friends had deemed a group chat specifically aimed to ensure Matteo’s wellbeing as necessary. 

“Okay,” Matteo said slowly, “Anyone got a lighter or what?” He wasn’t gonna pick the group chat situation apart right now because he was just glad that his friends were ready to distract him from this disaster of a day.

They barely talked while sharing the first joint. Matteo figured Abdi had informed Jonas and Carlos on what had happened at the meet and greet even though he only knew very little himself. But maybe Matteo repeatedly muttering “That asshole!” had clued him in enough. Eventually, Matteo would probably be able to tell them the whole story but right now he just wanted to smoke every memory of David-  _ Dave _ from his brain. He doubted it was possible but smoking weed had always been a coping mechanism for him.

Matteo had lost count of how much they’d smoked when Hans barged into the room, telling them with bright eyes, “Linn made cake!”

They blinked at him slowly, brains too fogged to really comprehend what he was telling them.

Hans pouted at the lack of excitement. “Cake, boys! Don’t you want some?”

Abdi asked, “To eat?”

Hans rolled his eyes. He looked at the half-smoked joint in Matteo’s hand disapprovingly. “No. To rub all over your gorgeous straight bodies.”

Abdi furrowed his brow. “Really?”

“‘m bi,” Jonas chimed in.

“Pan,” Carlos pointed at himself.

Matteo blinked at them owlishly. Maybe he was hallucinating that his whole squad had just come out. Well, except Abdi. “You’re the odd man out,” Matteo giggled. And all this time he’d thought he himself was the one who was the weird one.

Abdi sighed and stole the joint from Matteo. “I just want someone to love me, bro!”

Hans snapped his fingers suddenly. “This is all very heartwarming but on to the important things. Linn made cake!”

“Can we have some?” Carlos asked, a blissful smile on his lips.

Hans rolled his eyes. “Linn!” He yelled, “Bring the cake here before I strangle one of these boys!” 

A moment later, Linn waddled into the room, precariously balancing a fucking three-tier chocolate-y cake.

“Fuck me!” Jonas exclaimed.

“Holy fuck!” Abdi and Carlos chorused.

The boys quickly cleaned off the small coffee table for Linn to put the cake down carefully. they did so with a bashfully proud expression and handed out forks that had been stuffed in their sweatpants. “Enjoy!”

Matteo and the three others looked at each other for a moment, not quite believing they’d just arrived in cake heaven. And then they dug in.

Hans shook his head, clearly unimpressed. “And this, my friends, happens if you smoke too much weed. You turn into wild animals.”

“Shut up and join us,” Matteo told him, breaking a huge piece of cake away with his fork and pushing it in Hans’ face as soon as he sat down next to Matteo. Then he directed at Linn, “Which pronouns are you using today by the way?”

“It’s a she day,” she told him with a smile.

“Alright, sweet,” Matteo nodded before going back to eating the cake.

They ate cake happily for a while before Matteo remembered to answer Abdi, “Love, bro, is cruel. You don’t want that.”

“So you’re in love with David?” Carlos asked, wide-eyed and leaning closer to Matteo while still munching on the cake.

Matteo grimaced. “I- No. I think I was in love with the idea of him liking me back but he obviously doesn’t so…” He shrugged. He wanted to kick something but it felt like the beanbag he was sitting in was trying to swallow him up and anyway, the weed had made his limbs feel pleasantly heavy.

“What happened?” Jonas asked carefully.

Matteo stayed silent because he actually had no clue what the fuck had happened. Abdi replied for him instead, “It was such a shit show. Matteo got  _ punched _ !”

At least three people exclaimed at the same time, “By  _ David _ ?”

“Nah, just some random fan,” Abdi said.

“So,” There was a deeply concerned expression on Linn’s face, “I won’t get to see the hot lady in the suit again?”

Hans swatted her lightly on the leg. “Linn, honey,  _ your _ love life isn’t the point right now! Matteo is  _ suffering _ !”

“I’m not suffering!” Matteo argued. He stole the joint from Abdi who was just about to take a drag and finished it off by himself. His friends made no attempt to take it from him.

“But you see,” Carlos got this dreamy expression on his face as he wiggled out of the beanbag and then fell into Linn’s lap. “If love were a cake, I’d be so in love with you.”

Hans cooed at the display while Matteo just narrowed his eyes and took another drag of his joint. “Dude, you’re not making any sense!”

Carlos waved him off but only had eyes for Linn. He started playing with her hair and sighed, “But you know, Kiki is my cake.”

Linn looked mildly alarmed but not uncomfortable enough to push Carlos off. “Kiki’s your cake,” she repeated drily.

Carlos nodded enthusiastically. “Your hair’s so soft! Almost as soft as Kiki’s. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I should call her right now and tell her that!”

“No, no, no,” Jonas interjected, “Don’t call her, dude. She’s- uh, probably busy. With the girls. You don’t wanna call her right now.”

Matteo was honestly surprised that Jonas was still thinking clear enough to probably save Carlos’ ass. Personally, he’d have liked to see the scene play out in which Carlos called his girlfriend while being stoned out of his mind. Maybe it could have distracted him from his own misery.

It was way too easy to fall into his old coping mechanisms again: smoking so much every night that he barely remembered who he was. He’d done that way too much before he had come to terms with his sexuality so naturally, after coming out, he thought he was over it. But apparently, admitting to yourself and others that you were gay didn’t solve all your problems. And right now, he’d try anything to forget David.

Unfortunately, on the fourth day of his downward spiral, he realised that no amount of weed made him forget the guy. So he tried something more unconventional; he hung out with his new sister.

At first, he’d doubted that hanging out with a Beyond Detroit super fan would never distract him but it turned out, Lila was actually really smart and had a lot of other things to talk about apart from her favourite band.

They went to the botanical garden together and Lila seemed to know a lot about carnivorous plants. She didn’t stop talking about them. “At my grandma’s place, on her rooftop, she lets me keep a little garden. It’s full of carnivorous plants! I’ll show you someday!” She told him enthusiastically.

And Matteo let her bombard him with fact after fact until it actually felt like the name David didn’t mean anything to him anymore.

That night, he felt that for the first time since the meet and greet disaster, he didn’t have to get stoned to fall asleep. Maybe this new sister deal wasn’t too bad after all.

But distractions only worked for so long. They especially didn’t work when about a week after the disaster meet and greet, Matteo walked into the kitchen of the shared flat and Mia slid an envelope across the table.

“Someone dropped this off for you,” she said, obviously curious.

It was a plain envelope with just Matteo’s name on it, no clue as to who sent it. And yet, Matteo’s stomach sunk. He had a feeling he knew who it was from and he hated that part of him even hoped it was from him. Just some kind of explanation, maybe even an apology so that Matteo could find fucking closure.

“I don’t want it,” he muttered anyway. Because really, he already  _ knew _ he wasn’t good enough for some famous rockstar, what would it help to see it written down?

Mia’s brow was furrowed. “Why?” She asked. Of course she had noticed that Matteo hadn’t been doing well for the past week, and Hans or Linn had probably filled her in on what had happened.

Matteo didn’t say that he was scared. Terrified, really. He just shrugged his shoulders.

“I could open it for you?” Mia offered with a kind smile, pulling the envelope back toward her but making no attempt to open it.

Matteo hesitated but eventually, he was too curious to resist. “Don’t tell me if it’s something bad,” he mumbled, nervously wringing his hands while Mia carefully opened the envelope.

The time stretched on forever. Matteo squeezed his eyes shut. If Mia didn’t say anything soon, it meant that David had said something that would break Matteo’s heart. And as the seconds ticked by, it seemed as if Mia would actually stay quiet.

“Matteo?” Mia finally said.

Matteo slowly opened his eyes again, bracing for the inevitable  _ I’m sorry _ from Mia. Matteo wondered why David even sent a letter in the first place. Did he think Matteo was stupid and didn’t get the memo at the meet and greet that David was not interested?

Surprisingly, Mia’s lips were turned up in a small smile. Matteo blinked at her in confusion. “You should look at this,” she told him, sliding something across the table again — a drawing of a cartoon vampire boy with tousled hair and a regretful expression on his face. In a speech bubble, there were the words  _ I’m really sorry. Please forgive me? _

There was no explanation why David had acted the way he had. Sure, the drawing was cute and if David had said those words to him in person, Matteo probably wouldn’t even have hesitated. But this was just a drawing and there was no way for Matteo to contact David to clear things up. The way it looked, David had just done this to make himself feel better.

“He also sent these.”

When Matteo looked back at Mia, she held up what looked like two passes in plastic pouches. Upon closer inspection, Matteo was able to read  _ Beyond Detroit _ on it.  _ VIP Pass _ .

Matteo felt panic rising in his throat and his ears were ringing. What did David want from him?

“Are you gonna go?” Mia asked, clearly trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Matteo couldn’t. He wasn’t ready to get his heart broken like that. His traitorous heart longed to go, if only to see David one last time but he knew nothing good would come of this. The rockstar and the guy who had absolutely no clue what to do with his life? It had been doomed from the start. 

“My sister really likes them, I’m gonna give the passes to her,” he said monotonously. Before Mia could say anything else, Matteo grabbed the tickets and drawing and rushed to his room.

He paced his room for a long time before he finally grabbed his phone and texted his mum,  _ I have a surprise for Lila. Are you guys home? _

An hour later, he rang the doorbell to his childhood home and once the door was opened, he let his mum hug him for a long moment.

“You said you had a surprise for Lila?” Anja asked curiously, clearly proud that Matteo had gotten over his initial reluctance to accept his new sister.

In the living room, they found Lila and Sven. Of course, Lila was already bouncing with barely contained excitement. “Hi Matteo,” she grinned. Matteo could tell she was having a hard time holding back from asking what the surprise was.

Matteo couldn’t help but smile a little himself. “Okay, so,” Matteo sat down across from Lila, leaning in conspiratorially. “You know that sold out Beyond Detroit concert tomorrow?” He’d done his research.

“Yes?” Lila said curiously, not quite putting the pieces together quite yet.

“Well…” Matteo grabbed the envelope from his jacket pocket, sliding it across the coffee table.

Lila’s eyes were wide when she grabbed the envelope with shaky hands. She looked like she was trying not to get her hopes up and failing miserably.

Matteo bit his lip, smiling as he watched her open the envelope.

The tickets fell into her lap. She picked them up and subsequently almost made them go deaf with the high-pitched scream she let out when she realised what it was.

“What?” She screeched, “Matteo?” She was bouncing in her seat in utter delight. “How?”

Matteo laughed while his mum and Lila’s dad watched the scene unfold in confusion.

“VIP passes? How did you get these?” Lila screamed, pressing the tickets to her heart.

Matteo shrugged. “They’re yours if you want them,” he simply said, shooting Sven a glance to make sure he was actually okay with that.

“Yes, oh my god!” Lila screamed, then seemed to get the same idea as Matteo and so she looked at her dad, begging, “Please? Can I go? Please, dad?”

“Well, you can’t go by yourself,” Sven pointed out reasonably.

“There’s two tickets!” Lila was still screaming, way too excited to know what quiet meant, “You can come with me!”

Sven looked like he’d rather do anything else. His eyes met Matteo’s, making Matteo cringe. He hadn’t thought this through. “Maybe Matteo could take you instead, they’re his tickets after all,” Sven suggested.

Matteo was about to argue but his mum actually kicked him in the shin.

“Please, Matteo?” Lila pouted.

Matteo was miserable but he surely wouldn’t make Lila miserable as well. “Okay.”

Another screech and Lila almost took down the coffee table in her haste to hurl herself into Matteo’s lap and giving him the biggest hug, muttering “Thank you, thank you, thank you” repeatedly.

Matteo just tried to get used to the fact that he’d fucked up his plan to  _ not _ meet David again.

Matteo would really like to say that he didn’t give a fuck. He wished he could just pretend he didn’t care about David, that he was just going to a Beyond Detroit concert and that their singer was just some random (incredibly attractive) dude called Dave.

Matteo would really like to say that he didn’t spend over an hour on his hair alone and then even longer to find an outfit that wasn’t sweatpants and a hoodie. He’d like to say that he didn’t get frustrated with himself when he looked in the mirror, the skinny jeans and patterned button down and his perfectly styled hair. He looked  _ nice _ .

Matteo groaned and grabbed the hoodie lying on his bed, pulled it over his head and effectively messed up his hair like that. He then grabbed his wallet, keys and phone and without another look in the mirror headed out. He was supposed to go back to his mum’s house and Sven would drive Lila and him to the concert venue.

Lila was unsurprisingly super excited when Matteo got there, asking him about five times if he thought her outfit made her look pretty and if he thought Dave would think the same.

Matteo wasn’t quite sure if he was going to survive the night.

In the car on the way to the venue, Lila took a million selfies and pictures of VIP passes until she eventually asked Matteo to join her in one of the pictures. “Come on, Matteo. I can tag you on the Instagram post! What’s your Instagram?”

As if Matteo wanted to be in that post. He told her anyway and even smiled for the picture.

There was an advantage to having VIP passes, Matteo supposed — and that wasn’t the fact that they were going to meet the band. They were allowed to skip the line, getting envious glares from dedicated fans who had undoubtedly waited for hours already.

Matteo tried to convince Lila that standing in the very first row would just get them squished to death but there was no chance of her budging. Matteo just hoped the lights were blinding enough up on stage that David wouldn’t see him. And then he’d just worry about actually being face to face with him again later. Maybe he could send Lila in there and then come up with a bathroom emergency to avoid actually being in the same room as David.

The more people came in, the more Matteo and Lila were squished against the barricade in front of them but Lila didn’t seem to mind at all, bouncing with excitement. Of course, the noise level also picked up and Matteo wondered how those big screams could fit into such tiny bodies of the mostly twelve-year-old crowd. The band wasn’t even on stage yet.

The opening act made the crowd go even crazier and Matteo just hoped this would be over quickly. It was stupid how hard his heart was beating when the lights dimmed and an ominous drumbeat started.

Then a spotlight turned on, illuminating a girl on the drums. She was focused on keeping the beat, unperturbed by the fans’ screaming that got louder upon spotting her. The next spotlight was on a girl with an electric guitar. She was smiling out at the crowd, tapping her foot to the drumbeat.

The anticipation in the air was palpable now. Everyone was waiting for the lead singer. For  _ Dave _ .

A final drumbeat.

Everything went quiet for just a second.

And the crowd went wild when Dave jumped on stage and the girl on the guitar started playing.

As much as David had insisted on being a rock band, their songs were very pop and Matteo would probably never voluntarily listen to Beyond Detroit’s music but he had to admit that the songs were very catchy. He found himself bobbing along to them.

Matteo just couldn’t help smiling. As much as he hated to admit it, watching David on stage was-  _ magical _ for lack of a better word. He seemed so confident and happy, engaging with the crowd while performing and joking around with his bandmates between songs.

If it wasn’t quite for the music itself, Matteo sure enjoyed himself just looking at David and how incredible he was up there.

When the next song ended and the crowd cheered, Matteo cheered along. He was laughing because all of it felt a bit surreal. He’d been to concerts before but he’d talked to that person up on stage before. He might not know David very well (or at all) but he couldn’t deny that they’d shared a moment.

Maybe it had been a good idea after all to come here tonight. Matteo got his closure; he realised he had enjoyed the time he’d had with David and would cherish it forever but it was okay that nothing more would come of it. He’d get over it. Eventually. Tonight just made it very clear that they came from two different worlds.

“This next song is a brand new one,” David said up on stage, smiling a little as his eyes searched the crowd, “I actually wrote it here in Berlin.” He put his electric guitar down and picked up an acoustic one instead. His bandmates looked at him in confusion. “It’s called  _ Florenz _ .” His eyes found Matteo’s, who was completely baffled.

Lila tugged on Matteo’s arm excitedly. “ _ Florenz _ ! Oh my god! Your last name is Florenzi! This song is about you, I’m telling you!” She screeched.

Matteo couldn’t reply to her. He was frozen, looking up at David mesmerised. David started playing the guitar and when he began singing, it was so different to anything that Matteo had heard from him before. For one, he sang in German and all of their current songs were in English. It was a lot less mainstream pop, more similar to Beyond Detroit’s older record Matteo had listened to but the vibe was still completely different. Most of all, it sounded a hell of a lot like a love song. 

When the song ended, the crowd went absolutely crazy — though Matteo suspected they’d go wild even if David recited the numbers in a phone book. But David only had eyes for Matteo and the crowd’s excitement around him was nothing compared to the butterflies currently in his stomach.

David smiled at him and Matteo couldn’t help but smile back.

The moment was broken when Lila almost jumped on Matteo, screaming in his ear, “ _ Dave Schreibner _ wrote a song for you! Oh my god! You can have him, I’ll back down. He’s all yours!”

Beyond Detroit were performing their next song and Matteo was laughing, wrapping his arm around Lila’s shoulders and hugging her close for a moment. David had written a song for him.

After the concert, their VIP passes allowed Matteo and Lila to go backstage. As they were led through long corridors, Matteo grew more and more nervous. It felt a bit like déjà vu and Matteo absolutely didn’t want a repeat of the meet and greet disaster.

When they got to the room that the band must be in, Matteo was ready to bolt. But then the security guard opened the door and Lila dashed inside, tugging Matteo along by his wrist.

Matteo immediately spotted David who’d dressed down from his stage outfit to a large hoodie and sweatpants. David smiled at Matteo but focused on Lila first. “Hi! You’re Lila, right? We’ve met before!” He greeted her. Matteo thought he seemed genuine and not like he was putting on a show for a random fan.

“You remember that?” Lila visibly blushed. “Sorry about last time,” She mumbled, shooting Matteo an unsure look. Matteo smiled encouragingly at her.

“No worries,” David told her, “Come here, you look like you could need a hug!”

Lila’s eyes widened but she fell into the embrace willingly.

When they pulled apart, David said, “I’ll introduce you to my bandmates.” He walked Lila over to Sara and Leonie who easily engaged a clearly starstruck Lila into conversation while providing her with food and drinks from the buffet.

Matteo was so focused on Lila and making sure she didn’t collapse from sheer excitement that he jumped a little when David suddenly stood across from him, greeting him with a shy, “Na.”

“Hey, na,” Matteo replied, cursing himself for stuttering.

“Did you like the show?”

“I did,” Matteo said earnestly. And really, he’d probably take any chance to stare at David for one and a half hours without it being creepy.

David smiled sheepishly. He looked down at the ground when he asked, “And the new song?”

Matteo’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know what he had expected, maybe for them to never talk about the fact that apparently, David had written a song about him. 

“I’ll have you know, I’m not actually from Florence. My family’s from the Naples area,” Matteo joked. He didn’t know the right words to really tell David how much the song meant to him and how he’d definitely search YouTube for a shitty quality video taken at this concert and then watch it on repeat, remembering what he felt like in the moment David started playing the song.

There was a deep blush on David’s cheeks. “I didn’t know that,” He mumbled, “But anyway, I wanted to make sure that there’s no doubt that I wrote- I mean, I’m sorry. For how I treated you at the meet and greet. I didn’t know if you-“

“I really liked the song,” Matteo interrupted him, not even caring about how breathless he sounded.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Matteo nodded, stepping a little closer to David.

David took a shaky breath, eyes flickering from Matteo’s eyes to his lips and Matteo was glad how obvious David made it so Matteo didn’t have to question his motives.

Matteo leaned in slowly. He didn’t care that there were other people in the room, that his  _ sister _ was there. In fact, he’d pretty much forgotten about them.

But then David cleared his throat, taking the tiniest step back. He brushed his fingers through his hair. “There’s a- uh. We want to celebrate the end of the tour. Do you wanna come?”

Matteo felt like his heart was in his throat. He couldn’t speak if he kept looking at David so instead he let his eyes wander through the room. Naturally, he spotted Lila talking animatedly to Sara and Leonie. Matteo wanted nothing more than to join David but he had a responsibility. 

“I can’t,” he sighed and when David looked disappointed, Matteo added, “It’s just Lila. I have to get her back home.”

David seemed a little more hopeful again. “So you’d come if it wasn’t for Lila?”

“Yeah,” Matteo smiled. A hundred percent yes. “Rain check?”

“Unless…” David grinned, he held his finger up, indicating for Matteo to wait right there, “One sec.”

Matteo watched him walk over to a security guard, having a quick conversation with him. When David was done and turned around, he shot Matteo a wink before approaching Lila. He knelt down to be on eye level with her and with every second of the conversation that passed, Lila’s smile got bigger and her nods more frantic. Matteo felt all warm and fuzzy watching David and Lila interact.

When they came over to Matteo together, David had his arm wrapped around Lila’s shoulders and she looked like she was on cloud nine. “Matteo! You won’t believe this!” She exclaimed excitedly.

David raised his eyebrows, looking down at her. “Go ahead, tell him.”

“David said we could go for a ride in his limousine! Can we, please?”

Matteo had to admit he was a little confused. “Okay?” 

David explained, “Sara and Leonie can walk to the bar we’re meeting at, it’s not far from here. So I thought we could take the limousine to drop Lila off and then head back to the bar.”

Matteo grinned. “Well, if that’s okay with you, Lila,” he told her.

Lila looked at him wide-eyed. “Yes!” She screeched.

“Okay.” Matteo had butterflies dancing in his stomach again when he looked at David who smiled happily back at him. “Are you hungry? Do you need dinner before we drop you off? I don’t want your dad or my mum to be on my case.”

Lila shook her head. “Leonie and Sara made sure I ate.” In a stage whisper, she added, “They’re  _ so _ cool!”

“Alright,” Matteo laughed, “Say goodbye to them so we can leave!”

She stormed off and Matteo and David were alone again. “Thanks for doing this.” Matteo made an all-encompassing gesture. “Lila probably won’t shut up about this for a year.”

David shrugged. “I just hoped you’d actually come. Making her happy is just a bonus.”

“I wasn’t sure I would,” Matteo admitted.

“Do you regret it?”

Matteo shook his head.

Ten minutes later, they were in a limousine and Matteo couldn’t believe this was his life right now. He and David weren’t actually talking a lot, mainly because they were laughing too much about Lila who was hanging halfway out of the window, screaming all her excitement out into the streets of Berlin.

At some point, Matteo realised that it probably also was his responsibility to make sure Lila didn’t fall out of the window of a limousine. 

“Hey Lila,” He grabbed her around the ankle to get her attention — and make sure he could hold onto her if she actually fell, “I’d like to not be killed by your father because you fell through the window of a moving vehicle. Could you maybe sit down properly?”

Lila reluctantly reappeared in the car. “God, this is the best night of my life!” She said breathlessly.

Matteo raised his eyebrows. He really hoped her life didn’t peak at twelve years old. 

"Can you always just drive around in this limousine?” Lila asked David with big eyes, clearly completely in awe.

David chuckled and shook his head. “Nah. I only use it if I have company as charming as tonight!”

His words made Lila blush while Matteo made retching noises. But when David met his eyes, Matteo couldn’t help but smile goofily at him.

Lila spent all of the ride looking around curiously, exploring the small space — meaning pushing any buttons and opening any compartments she could reach — while chatting away happily.

Matteo was just glad to quietly watch her and David enthusiastically engaging in conversation.

It was actually funny to see Anja and Sven’s faces when they arrived at the house. The two of them were sitting at a small table set up in front of the house, sipping wine. Their eyes were huge when the limousine halted and a hyperactive Lila jumped out of it after fiercely hugging Matteo and David.

Anja smiled at Matteo, inviting him to spend the rest of the night with them but Matteo inclined his head toward David a little. Just two years earlier, Matteo would have been embarrassed about the sudden understanding dawning on his mother’s face. Tonight, he didn’t mind at all.

He closed the door and they were off again. 

Suddenly, realisation dawned on Matteo — he was alone with David now.

The silence between them stretched on for just a second too long, turning a little uncomfortable, but luckily David spoke up, “I don’t really feel like joining Leonie and Sara just yet. Do you wanna grab something to eat?”

Matteo sighed in relief. Food was pretty much always a favourite. “Sure. I could eat.” He smiled tentatively at David. Another beat of silence, before Matteo suggested, “I know a great little Italian place.”

“Only if they offer sandwiches with whipped cream,” David joked.

Matteo rolled his eyes. “Fuck off,” he laughed. He told the driver the address and took a moment to just look at David. The person up on stage,  _ Dave _ , and this David right here with Matteo really were two different people. Matteo felt incredibly lucky to see this side of David as he was sure not a lot of people got to see him like this.

“Is this a case of all the Italians in Berlin knowing each other or is there another story as to how you know this place?” David wondered when they made it to the restaurant that was in the middle of nowhere.

Matteo smiled a little sadly. “The first time I went here was when I came back from a trip to Italy with my parents. I’m not sure why I remember it so vividly. I was maybe six years old, probably younger. It’s the last happy memory I have with them. After that, there was only fighting and this place became my refuge. I had nowhere else to go so I usually took the U-Bahn after school to come here and hang out,” he chuckled. “Now thinking about it, probably the only reason my parents never got mad and sick with worry was because the owner must have called them every time I showed up.”

“That’s horrible!” David exclaimed, eyes wide.

Matteo shrugged. “I got used to it,” he said without thinking, then upon seeing David’s expression grow more horrified, he added, “Which is probably not helping the case.”

“Not really, no,” David agreed.

Matteo laughed. “It’s fine, I got great pasta out of it. I was a really chubby kid.”

David crinkled his nose, clearly not convinced that  _ it was fine _ , but he accepted Matteo’s attempt at a lighter topic. “You gotta show me a picture someday. You’re like a lanky alien, I don’t believe it.”

“Ah, Matteo!” They stepped into the restaurant and were immediately greeted by an old tall Italian man with a moustache. “How are you? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you here!” He said in Italian, “And I see you brought a man friend. Who’s that charming boy then?” 

Matteo blushed. “Hey Gio,” he said quietly in German, “This is David, he’s a friend.”

“Aaah, a friend,” Gio wiggled his eyebrows and Matteo had always hated how perceptive he was. “Well, hello, David. It is very nice to meet you!” Then he turned back to Matteo and switched back to Italian, “Now give your old man a hug. And would you like me to give you a little private corner?”

“Stop,” muttered Matteo when he went in for the hug, “But yes, please.” It was only so no one would see and recognise David. Simply a safety precaution!

That private corner turned out to be on the patio in the back. Only two other tables were in use but they were on the far end and their table was mostly shielded by a couple large bushes of hydrangeas.

“Very Lady and the Tramp-esque,” David chuckled when they sat down.

“I can ask him to get us a different table,” Matteo mumbled, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. 

But David shook his head and smiled. “No, I like this. The flowers are beautiful.”

“Gio’s husband is super into gardening,” Matteo explained.

At that moment, Gio came back with some blankets for them and a bottle of wine. “You’re not driving, are you?”

Both of them shook their heads and so Gio poured them each a glass. “Valentino will come out later to say hi, he’s eating right now. I made a new dish I might wanna add to the menu. Would you boys like to have some of that?” 

“Yes, for sure,” Matteo immediately agreed, knowing just how amazing any new dish always was.

David laughed at Matteo’s enthusiasm. “Sounds good to me.”

“Perfect! I’ll be right back.”

Matteo and David clinked glasses and then took careful sips of the wine. Matteo really was more of a beer drinker but Gio always knew which wine he’d end up liking anyway. “It’s not bad,” Matteo mused, taking another sip, this time less tentative.

David admitted, “I have no clue about wine. But I like this one.”

“My grandpa in Italy has a vineyard but he gave up trying to teach me long ago,” Matteo laughed, thinking back to his nonno’s last desperate attempt during the summer, in the hopes of getting Matteo to help him out during the year he stayed with his grandparents there. “The only help I really was for him was working the register but if a customer asked me about flavours and shit, I was hopeless.”

David smiled. “So that’s what you did while you stayed in Italy?”

Matteo nodded. “When I left Berlin, I didn’t really know what to expect in Italy. I hadn’t really been in touch with my Italian heritage so it was actually pretty scary. But it was good to get away and kind of live at a different pace, you know? And it made me realise that I didn’t completely suck at everything… I don’t know, it probably sounds stupid.”

“It doesn’t,” David interjected immediately. “I get it. When I started making music, that was my reason too basically. I had just finally found something that I was good at and that I actually enjoyed doing.”

“And look at you now, you’ve got  _ fans _ ,” Matteo said teasingly.

“It’s pretty cool, yeah.”

“But?”

David huffed a laugh, clearly embarrassed that he’d been caught. “But it does get lonely sometimes. And I hate saying it because I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I owe so much to my fans but there’s always a part of me… that I’m hiding. Because what if they see that part and they don’t like me anymore?”

Matteo’s brow was furrowed. “I get it. I think. And I don’t think you’re ungrateful. And… I don’t wanna be presumptuous but you seem to show me your real self and you’re not bad at all. I don’t think you need to be scared.”

“Not bad? That’s all I’m gonna get?” David joked. “And here I thought writing you a song would totally woo you.”

Matteo’s stomach went on a rollercoaster ride. Here this boy was, openly admitting to writing him a song and wanting to woo him with that. A boy that Matteo liked just as much as he seemed to like him. He couldn’t help the big grin on his face or being absolutely incapable of forming a teasing reply.

He was completely mesmerised by looking into David’s eyes that he jumped a little when Gio returned with two plates heaping with pasta.

It felt like a dream; having dinner with the guy he liked, laughing and smiling at the most ridiculous things, sharing knowing looks and  _ really wanting to kiss David _ . He was almost certain that if he didn’t completely make an ass of himself, he might even get that kiss he was hoping for.

When they got to the end of their meal, David insisted on paying (and Gio telling him not to worry, it was on the house) and that was the deciding factor for Matteo. If David didn’t make the first move, he would bring up all the courage he could find and do it himself.

“Ready to head out?” Matteo suggested reluctantly but also with a wildly beating heart. He didn’t know where the night was going but he sure hoped it wasn’t ending here. He was actually surprised that David didn’t call him out on any weird behaviour because he felt like he was being way too obvious.

“Okay,” David nodded, smiling.  _ God _ , that smile. Matteo wanted to look at it forever.

They headed for the exit and with his heart pounding, Matteo bumped his hand into David’s before shooting him a cursory look. David looked back at him wide-eyed but didn’t seem averse to the idea of holding Matteo’s hand. 

Matteo grabbed his hand.

Their fingers slid together effortlessly. Matteo didn’t even have time to worry about his hand being too sweaty before the feeling of euphoria set in.

“Do you wanna walk around a little bit?” David suggested. He sounded nervous but Matteo hoped also happy.

Matteo nodded, not quite trusting his voice. He couldn’t stop smiling.

It was impossible to say where exactly they were headed. Actually, it was quite possible that neither of them had any particular destination in mind. Instead, they just enjoyed each other’s company.

There wasn’t a moment that they struggled to find another topic to talk about and there wasn’t a second that they let go of each other’s hands.

If he were able to, Matteo would stop time just to stay in this moment forever.

“I feel like I’m constantly scared,” David admitted quietly at some point.

Matteo squeezed his hand in comfort. “Scared of what?” He asked gently.

David shrugged. “Of you, of myself, of life. I don’t know. I guess, what I’m trying to say is that- at that meet and greet last week-“

Matteo cringed and this time it was on David to squeeze his hand.

“I got scared about what it meant that you snuck your way into the meet and greet. I wondered if what we- what we had was real. And if it was, what did it mean? What  _ does _ it mean?”

They stopped walking, standing on a bridge and looking out on the Spree beneath them. They had stopped holding hands now but were standing close enough that their arms were pressed together.

Matteo couldn’t say that he had a clear answer for David but he knew one thing for sure: he wanted this to be as real as possible.

Matteo cleared his throat and turned to David. “I really wanna kiss you,” he said bluntly, quickly adding, “Can I?” Suddenly unsure if he’d misinterpreted David’s words. Maybe David didn’t-

“Yes!” David blurted, eyes wide at his own easy admission. “I mean, no- I-“ He turned fully to Matteo, reaching out to grab his hands but then apparently thinking better of it and stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodie instead. “Listen, I-“

Matteo felt the disappointment gurgling in his stomach. He should have known. Fuck, someone like David would never be actually interested in  _ him _ .

“It’s not that I don’t wanna kiss you,” David whispered, looking down at his feet. “It’s just that you should know something about me before you make that decision.”

Matteo’s brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?” He asked in confusion and reached out to tug David’s hands out of his pocket to hold them. “Nothing could change-“

“Don’t say that!” David said forcefully, pulling away.

Matteo was hopelessly confused. “Okay. I’m sorry,” he mumbled, unsure what else to say.

David looked back down on the river, fingers now nervously tapping against the railing of the bridge. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. Matteo expected him to start speaking but he didn’t.

It was clear that he had troubles sorting out his thoughts. Matteo wished there was anything he could do to make whatever David was going to say easier.

“You know,” David eventually started with a shaky voice, “How most boys… are just boys. And- and girls are just girls.” He took another shaky breath, “It’s not like that for me. I- I have to try a little harder.” He waited a moment, seemingly preparing himself for the worst. Eventually, he whispered, “I’m transgender, Matteo.”

Matteo didn’t quite know what to say. This situation was so wildly different to when Linn had come out as non-binary. Clearly, David thought this would change things between them.  Before the silence could stretch on for too long and David would possibly think that Matteo had a problem with it  —  which he obviously didn’t  — he blurted, “So which pronouns do you want me to use?”

David stared at him dumbfounded. “What?”

Matteo’s brows furrowed. “I- I don’t know? I mean, I can use whichever pronouns. I have a friend who changes theirs sometimes. Like, you don’t have to worry about me having a problem with it. It’s totally cool! Good for you! I think it’s awesome-”

“Okay.” David raised his hands to stop Matteo from talking, an amused smile tugging on his lips. “Please stop talking now.” The faint smile on David’s lips quickly dropped again. “I’m a trans man. I just needed you to know in case that would change your feelings for me. I didn’t want to lead you on.”

Matteo just looked at David, his worried expression, and he was certain that he  still just wanted to be with him, make sure David knew he never had to worry like that with Matteo. Matteo was still very, very gay for David. 

“Thank you for trusting me with this, David. I know it must have been hard. Can I- do you want a hug?” He opened his arms awkwardly and it only took a second for David to collapse into him. Matteo held him tightly.

David exhaled shakily against Matteo’s neck, relaxing in the embrace.

Matteo pressed a kiss against his hair. “Do you still want me to come to your hotel with you?” He asked eventually. He’d just like to see David safely and comfortably wrapped in a blanket — Matteo would make sure of that, no matter if David wanted him to stay or not.

“You still want to?” And  _ fuck _ , it was unfair how vulnerable he sounded.

“Of course! Come on.” Matteo grabbed David’s hand and pulled him with him.

They walked in silence for a couple minutes. Eventually, David spoke up again, “You know, if you have any questions, you can ask me anything.”

Matteo nodded. He was sure he was gonna have questions eventually but he’d think about that later. Right now, he just wanted them to get comfortable and watch a movie or something.

When they made it back to the limousine, Matteo remembered that David wasn’t just a normal guy. He was actually famous. “Your fans don’t know, do they?” He wondered, “That’s what you were talking about earlier. About hiding.”

“Yeah, I- we started the band after my transition, it’s always been that one thing in my life where I could run away from all the shit. And then we actually got famous and I- I wanted to come out. But then I got scared about the reaction and now it just feels like I missed the right moment, you know?”

Matteo shrugged. “Is there ever a right moment, though?” He thought back to his own coming out, how hard it had been and how many times he’d wanted to say it before he finally did.

“I suppose not. I don’t know,” David sighed.

Matteo bumped his shoulder into David’s. “You don’t have to feel guilty for not wanting to come out right now, or ever. You don’t owe them anything, except maybe a banger song every now and then.”

“That’s what Laura always says,” David said with a fond smile.

Matteo grinned. “She sounds like a smart woman. But I gotta admit, she’s very scary.”

David rolled his eyes. “She really isn’t once you get to know her. She just likes to put up a tough front.”

Matteo raised his eyebrows. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Maybe I can introduce you to each other properly sometime… you know, without her thinking you kidnapped me.” David shot him an unsure smile.

“I’d like that!” Matteo assured him, squeezing his hand.

Matteo’s jaw dropped when they arrived at the Ritz-Carlton and then took the elevator up to the hotel’s  _ penthouse _ . The most luxurious place Matteo had ever been on vacation was a single room in a hostel on a trip to Spain with the boys.

“What the fuck.”

David sounded almost nonchalant when he said, “I know it’s a bit much.”

“A bit much,” Matteo repeated sarcastically.

“To be fair, Leonie and Sara share one of the bedrooms and Laura is in the other one,” David pointed out.

Matteo laughed. “Are you trying to say that at least you didn’t spend more money on more rooms?”

David nodded, laughing as well.

Matteo just rolled his eyes and then went on exploring the place, muttering, “This is crazy,” every couple seconds.

“So tell me,” Matteo turned around to face David who’d been trailing alongside him on his tour through the penthouse. “As a proper rockstar, how many hotel rooms have you trashed?”

David chuckled. “Oh you know, I’ve stopped counting.”

“Yeah I figured,” Matteo sighed, picking up a cushion from the couch, squeezing it to see how soft it was. (Very soft, of course.) He threw it at David’s face and laughed at the indignant “hey!” coming muffled from behind the cushion. Matteo already grabbed another one, barely dodging the cushion that came flying back his way.

They chased each other through the whole penthouse, laughing maniacally. The only reason they eventually stopped was because a vase came crashing to the ground, shattering into a million pieces.

Matteo and David looked at each other with wide eyes for a couple seconds before laughter bubbled over. They hadn’t planned to  _ actually _ trash the place.

Matteo’s heart was pounding in his chest and he smiled so wide his cheeks started to hurt. David looked just as happy, cheeks red from running around so much and eyes shiny.

Matteo couldn’t help himself. He pulled David in and kissed him with everything he had. David made a sound of surprise against his lips but kissed Matteo back, putting his hands against Matteo’s waist. Matteo wrapped his arms around David’s neck, tangling his fingers in David’s hair. He started smiling against David’s lips, feeling the happiest he’d ever probably felt.

In the end, they had to break the kiss because both of them were giggling too much.

“Fuck,” Matteo breathed, not letting go of David.

“I know,” David agreed, chuckling.

Their eyes met, both still grinning widely and blushing.

“I’d like to do that again,” Matteo mumbled and that didn’t even begin to describe his feelings. He’d die a very happy man if he were able to kiss David for the rest of his life.

“I won’t stop you,” David whispered.

So Matteo kissed him again. 

And they didn’t stop until the sky outside turned light again.

“We should probably get some rest,” Matteo murmured against David’s lips, even though sleep was literally the last thing on his mind.

David nodded but said, “I’m not sure I can.”

“Me neither.” Matteo admitted, “This feels like a dream.” And even though he didn’t want to sleep just yet, didn’t want to stop this moment, his body was slowly caving in. He yawned.

“Sleep?” David chuckled.

Matteo groaned. “I guess,” he said petulantly.

David kissed him again, short and sweet.

“Do you need to take your binder off?” Matteo asked, tracing David’s bottom lip with his thumb and smiled.

David looked at him in surprise but shook his head. “I had top surgery about one and a half years ago.”

“Okay.” Matteo smiled, pulling David as close as possible. “Cuddles then!”

“David!”

Matteo startled at the loud voice. He buried his face deeper into the pillow, knowing it wouldn’t take long for him to fall back asleep, back into that beautiful dream.

“David, wake up!” That same voice again.

Matteo groaned, pushing the blanket off and staring up at the ever scary Laura.

“You again!” She said, trying to sound strict but not quite able to hide the puzzlement in her voice.

David was nowhere to be seen to save Matteo from this awkward situation. “Uh.” Matteo squinted his eyes shut, trying to get his sleep-muddled brain to focus. “I’m Matteo?” He offered in an attempt to turn this second encounter with her around for the better.

“I know who you are. I do my job well,” Laura said brusquely, seemingly having pulled herself together. She pinched the bridge of her nose and heaved a sigh, “Alright, get out of here. David’s got a long day ahead!”

She didn’t leave any room for argument and Matteo would rather not get on her bad — read: even worse — side, so he scrambled out of bad, picking up his jeans and hoodie and putting them on quickly. “Could you let David-“

“Out!”

Matteo grimaced, hurrying past her. He’d just have to text David later to let him know that he’d very much like to repeat last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments keep me going and if you wanna just chat, my tumblr is matteoohno! Thank you so much for reading!


	5. Step Five: Make Sure Nobody Finds Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only been two months yeeee
> 
> I hope you are all safe and healthy in these weird times <3 feel free to come talk to me about this fic or anything really (my tumblr is @matteoohno) if you wanna get your mind off of things.
> 
> Also it would be super helpful if you could reblog the tumblr post for this and of course, leave comments - any kind of comment means a lot to me, you can also do it in the language you're most comfortable in if that's what keeps you from commenting (there's google translate for a reason haha) But yeah, it's like super encouraging to get feedback from you guys because honestly I've been really struggling with writing lately.
> 
> Sorry, there's not a lot of happiness, or David for that matter, in this chapter but next chapter is gonna be better I promise!
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading this! <3

Despite the more than unpleasant encounter with David’s manager, Matteo couldn’t help but grin the whole way home. He was so happy, he even grabbed croissants for the whole flat.

Both Mia and Hans looked at him like he was a completely different person.

“What? Can’t I do something nice for you without any reason?” He pouted.

“No,” they deadpanned in unison.

Matteo shrugged. “Well, guess I’ll take these to my room then.” He went to pick the bag of croissants back up but Hans stopped him.

“No, no, wait. That’s very nice of you, thank you, Matteo. Maybe this will get Linn out of their room. They’ve been holed up with their guppies in there for way too long.” Hans grabbed plates from the cupboard and then yelled, “Linn! Matteo bought croissants for breakfast! Get in here!”

If the fact that there were croissants wouldn’t get them out of their room, it probably would be the fact that it was Matteo who’d brought them. Maybe Matteo should consider doing more nice things for his flatmates if they were so surprised by him doing stuff like that.

“Anyway,” Hans grinned knowingly, and sat down across from Matteo. “Where have  _ you _ spent the night then?”

Matteo squinted his eyes at him. “My mum’s,” he shot back — too quickly apparently.

Hans’ smirk widened. “What’s his name again? David?”

“Fuck off,” Matteo muttered, taking a huge bite of his croissant so he didn’t have to talk.

Mia chimed in, “Hans, you better leave him alone or he’ll never be nice to us again.” She had always been Matteo’s favourite.

When his phone buzzed with a new message a couple minutes later, Hans was still looking at him with a curious expression. However, Matteo didn’t actually care when he saw that David had texted.

_ sorry we missed each other this morning _

_ my sister told me you ran into each other, _

_ sorry about that! she can be quite protective _

_ I didn’t know she was your sister and _

_ don’t worry about it! _

Matteo wondered how risky it would be to just ask David to hang out again soon. But David had texted him first, that had to be a good sign right? Matteo couldn’t help the huge smile spreading on his lips when he thought back to last night and how they’d spent a large part of it making out. He could probably take that risk.

_ Let’s hang out again soon? _

“I assume that’s also the face you make when texting your mum?” Hans teased, effectively pulling Matteo out of his David bubble.

“It’s not,” Matteo muttered, cheeks undoubtedly bright red.

Mia and Hans looked at him in surprise at that admission and Matteo was also quite surprised to share this with them.

To be honest, Matteo felt like bursting, he just needed to share this with someone. “You were right, it’s David. I really like him.”

Hans immediately started squealing and Mia had this proud mum expression on her face. They’d probably waited for this moment ever since he’d first come out to them.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Hans asked, barely containing his excitement. “And are you using protection?”

Mia swatted Hans on the arm and asked Matteo gently, “He’s treating you well?”

_ Boyfriend _ . Matteo thought he’d probably combust if David ever agreed to be his boyfriend. He could probably do so much better. 

“I haven’t asked him yet,” he mumbled, “We kissed for the first time yesterday.”

“This is so adorable. I remember my first romance. Such a beautiful thing! The first boyfriend, or girlfriend,” he added with a smile at Mia, “Is always special.”

“It is,” Mia agreed with a soft smile and even though David wasn’t Matteo’s boyfriend (yet), he nodded because it felt very special.

“Aw, look at us,” Hans cooed, reaching out to grab Mia’s and Matteo’s hands across the table, “Having a gay bonding moment.”

Matteo rolled his eyes but he was incredibly thankful for his flatmates right now.

When Linn shuffled into the kitchen, Hans told them, “Come here. We’re being gay!” And then he forced them all into a big group hug.

Matteo really tried not to focus all his attention on his phone. He knew David was probably busy and wouldn’t have a chance to reply right away. There was no point in staring at his phone as intensely as he did — or for his heart rate to pick up as much as it did when his phone finally vibrated.

He hated how disappointed he felt when it was just a message from Jonas in the group chat asking how the concert had gone.

**_ABDI:_ ** _ Did you have sexual intercourse? _

**_CARLOS:_ ** _ How’s the vibes? _

**_JONAS:_ ** _ Guys! Don’t overwhelm him _

_ But seriously… did you get yourself a boyfriend bro? _

_ You’re all assholes _

**_ABDI:_ ** _ That’s a yes? _

**_CARLOS:_ ** _ You know what I’m coming over _

**_ABDI:_ ** _ Great idea! _

**_JONAS:_ ** _ Guys! _

Matteo couldn’t help but laugh. He rolled his eyes but told them to come over. They had been nothing but supportive and they deserved to know — most importantly, Matteo  _ wanted _ them to know.

It didn’t take them long to get to the flat and the boys immediately launched into rapid fire questions about the previous night.

“I hope he apologised for being an asshole at the meet and greet,” Abdi said thoughtfully, the other two nodding in agreement.

“He did,” Matteo assured them, “He also kind of uh… wrote me a song?”

“WHAT!”

Matteo chuckled at the absolute bafflement on his friends’ faces.

“So you slept with him,” Carlos concluded as if that was the natural next step to having someone write a song for you.

Jonas eyed Matteo curiously, clearly trying to decipher his best friend’s thoughts and feelings. “Tell us everything. From when you got the concert tickets to this morning,” He demanded but his expression said  _ only tell us as much as you’re comfortable with _ .

So Matteo started talking; how reluctant he’d been of going, how his plan to give the tickets to Lila to avoid going himself had backfired. And then he told them about the moment he’d realised David had written a song for him, and was performing it on stage in front of a couple hundred teenage girls who were probably super into him. While he was talking about the kinda date they’d gone on after, he didn’t stop smiling. It had all been so perfect.

Matteo tried to remember every little detail about that night — minus David being trans obviously — to tell his friends. It honestly felt exhilarating to be able to talk so freely about his love life with them. For the longest time, Matteo thought he wasn’t allowed to do that just because he was gay.

Turned out it didn’t matter what gender any of the boys’ love interests was, they’d always be supportive and excited.

“Dude, you’re really in love, huh?” Carlos said by the end of Matteo’s story.

Matteo immediately felt his cheeks heating up. He avoided their gazes, instead looking down at his lap and playing with the hem of his hoodie. 

“Maybe,” He mumbled, a small smile tugging on his lips.

Suddenly, all three boys launched at him, dog-piling on top of him. They were howling with excitement and shouting their encouragement.

“You gotta ask him to be your boyfriend,” Jonas concluded, “Judging by what you told us, he’s just as into you!”

“You really think so?”

“Duh!” Carlos said, “The vibes are totally right!”

As if on cue, there was an incoming text from David.  _ I’d love to! _ It read and he had added a row of happy emojis.

“He wants to hang out again,” Matteo told the boys, feeling dizzy with happiness.

“That just confirms it!” Abdi said, “He’s crushing as hard as you are!”

And then they broke out into chants of, “Matteo’s got a boyfriend! Matteo’s got a boyfriend!”

Matteo remembered how back in school, there’d been a time when he’d felt the need to get a girlfriend just to appear “normal.” He remembered how his friends had always talked about girls and sex and how much he’d hated it.

This feeling right now was so far from that, Matteo couldn’t believe there’d ever been a time that he felt like he couldn’t be who he was. 

“You’re the best friends anyone could ask for, you know?” He muttered.

After that, they just hung out in Matteo’s room. They were making plans to have a pregame here next Friday, though honestly they’d probably just end up staying in and getting drunk here. It was cheaper than going out, anyway.

Matteo even considered inviting David so he could meet his friends if he wanted to. He kept that thought to himself for now.

After a while, they all got hungry. Matteo wasn’t sure there’d be anything edible in the kitchen but it was worth a try. He didn’t really feel like going out to get döner.

Matteo was surprised to find his sister at the kitchen table, playing mau-mau with Hans and Mia. 

“Hi. What are you doing here?” He looked around as if to see his mother or Sven pop up somewhere but Lila seemed to be alone.

“Cake!” Carlos exclaimed, dashing past Matteo to admire said cake on the kitchen counter.

“I brought cake,” Lila said, her smile a little shy, “As a thank you. For yesterday. That was the coolest thing anyone’s ever done for me!”

“Can I move in here? You guys always seem to have cake.” Carlos was clearly excited, looking about ready to devour the cake.

“Carlos! It’s Matteo’s cake!” Mia admonished him, sounding strict enough that Carlos backed off sheepishly.

Matteo smiled and walked up to Lila, ruffling her hair. “You’re welcome. It was fun.” That was an understatement of course, but she really didn’t need to know the details. He wasn’t really ready to do the whole feelings thing with his new sister, so he clapped his hands and said, “So cake anyone? And cards?”

And that’s what they did for the rest of the afternoon, eating cake and playing cards and even Linn joined them at some point for a little while.

Afterwards, when Matteo was back in his room by himself, he spent the rest of the night texting with David. He was possibly the happiest he’d ever been.

Being in constant contact with David for two days straight made the sudden loss of contact even more jarring.

Matteo enjoyed talking to David (obviously) and he’d gotten used to sometimes not hearing from David for a couple hours because he was busy with band stuff. Usually, he’d get a warning for that, a quick  _ sorry if I don’t reply, Laura’s bugging me  _ or something similar.

So when he suddenly stopped replying mid-conversation, Matteo immediately got worried and he knew something wasn’t right. Of course he didn’t want to seem clingy and desperate so he didn’t follow up on it, not even when his waiting hit the six hour mark and he felt like he was going a little crazy.

Something must have come up. He couldn’t always expect a warning. Everything was fine.

Matteo went to bed that night with his stomach in knots. He knew he was being ridiculous but he just couldn’t help it. He shouldn’t be so used to a goodnight text after such a short amount of time.

Naturally, he didn’t really get any sleep that night.

In the morning, he felt like he’d been hit with a ton of bricks. And there was still nothing from David.

Matteo tried not to dwell on it. He stuffed his phone under his pillow and left his room.

He ran into Linn in the kitchen, who wordlessly grabbed a second cup from the cupboard and filled it with coffee before handing it to him.

“Thanks,” He grumbled, sitting down at the table.

“Long day, huh?” Linn said quietly.

Matteo simply nodded. Yes, the day had just started but they got it.

“I know the feeling.”

They drank their coffee in silence and Matteo was really glad that it was Linn he’d run into instead of Hans, who more often than not seemed to feel like he had to fill the silence with an onslaught of random words that sometimes only made sense to him.

Matteo kind of spaced out then and he was glad for it because at least his brain wasn’t working overtime trying to figure David’s sudden silence out.

Eventually, Linn pulled him out of his reverie. “Wanna go on a walk?”

Matteo wasn’t one to usually go on walks to clear his head — the weed did a pretty good job of that — but he figured trying some healthier coping methods couldn’t hurt. And he knew it would be chill with Linn and there would be no requirement to talk. “Okay.”

They got ready and left the flat. When they opened the front door to the building, Matteo was immediately blinded. It took him a second to realise what was happening with all those bright lights and shouting.

Linn seemed to be faster and already pulled him back inside, slamming the door shut.

They still heard shouting and Matteo blinked several times into the sudden darkness of the hallway.

_ “Matteo Florenzi!” _

_ “What is your relationship with Dave Schreibner?” _

_ “What’s it like dating a rockstar?” _

_ “How long have you known Dave Schreibner?” _

The questions barely registered. Matteo’s ears were ringing and it was suddenly hard to breathe. He knew instantly that this was the reason he hadn’t heard from David even though he still didn’t fully comprehend what was going on.

“Paparazzi,” Linn said dumbfounded.

“Paparazzi,” Matteo repeated the word silently, trying to make sense of it. He reached for the pocket of his sweatpants where his phone usually was. He needed to talk to David. But then he remembered his phone was still in his room, hidden away under his pillow.

Linn touched his arm but he barely noticed. “Come on, let’s go back upstairs.”

Matteo did as he was told but it was as if he was watching himself from outside his own body as Linn steered him back to the flat. They led him to the living room and pushed him down on the couch. Mia and Hans who’d been lounging there immediately jumped up, worried expressions on their faces.

“What happened?” Mia asked, kneeling down in front of Matteo and putting a hand on his knee.

Linn was still holding on to his arm. “There’s paparazzi outside,” they informed the others.

Hans went to the window right away to look out on the streets. “Oh dear.”

_ There’s paparazzi outside. _ They found out about him and David.  _ How _ ?

It all became too much all of a sudden. Matteo violently jerked away from Mia and Linn’s touch. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them with his arms. He was shaking.

Why were there paparazzi outside his flat? How did they find out? Matteo doubted David had told them anything without talking to him first. No one else knew. Except-

But none of his friends would tell anyone, would they?

Nothing made sense.

“Oh this is really bad,” Hans muttered.

At first, Matteo thought he was talking about the state he was in but when he looked over to Hans, he was looking down at his phone.

“Show me,” Matteo heard himself say.

Hans looked at him unsure.Linn and Mia also seemed to think that wasn’t a good idea.

“Show me,” he repeated more forcefully. He took the phone from Hans and as he looked down at the stupid  _ Promiflash _ app, his worst nightmares were confirmed.

**EXCLUSIVE! Teenage heartthrob Dave Schreibner is a homosexual**

_ Is it possible that Dave Schreibner isn’t into women? The  _ Battlefield _ -singer has been rumoured to be dating bandmate Leonie Richter but it seems his interest lies elsewhere — in fact,  _ **_she seems to be the wrong gender_ ** _! _

_ Fans who attended  _ Beyond Detroit’ _ s sold out Berlin concert on the weekend report that  _ **_Dave was seen leaving the venue with a boy_ ** _! According to a close friend of the couple, they spent the whole night together, riding a limousine together and having dinner in a small Italian restaurant in Reinikendorf before heading back to the Ritz-Carlton. _

_ Matteo Florenzi, who grew up in Tempelhof, was not seen leaving the hotel. _

_ What happened in that hotel room? The close friend said they shared their first kiss there and had long, deep conversations. For the sake of the couple’s privacy, we’re going to leave the rest up to your imagination. _

_ It is, without a doubt, clear that a lot of girls will have to face the cold hard truth that Dave Schreibner will never write them a song as romantic as  _ Florenz _ and he broke a lot of young girls’ hearts after the shocking reveal that  _ **_Dave Schreibner is gay_ ** _! _

_ Do you believe Dave Schreibner is really dating a guy? _

_ ◎ Of course! I always suspected he was gay! _

_ ◎ No way, they’re probably just good friends! _

The article also contained the selfie of Matteo and Lila with the VIP passes as proof that he’d actually been at the concert. They had also taken several pictures off of Matteo’s Instagram account, including one where he and the guy he had hooked up with in Italy were shirtless and which could be interpreted as intimate. Which, obviously,  _ Promiflash _ did even though it really had just been them being drunk out of their minds and taking silly pictures.

Matteo would like to think that this was the worst of it all. But he knew this was not going to be the only article about them. There was going to be more, with more details, more personal details about the night he’d spent with David and in general about him. Beyond Detroit was the number one band right now and there wasn’t a day that passed with new articles about them. Right in this moment, there was probably a  _ BRAVO _ journalist somewhere, scouring every social media platform for more information on  _ Matteo Florenzi, who grew up in Tempelhof _ for a multiple pages spread in the next issue of the magazine.

“This is so bad,” Hans repeated, taking his phone back from Matteo. If even he didn’t have anything to say to lighten the mood, they really were fucked.

“Matteo, give me your phone!” Mia demanded.

Matteo shook his head. He didn’t have it.

He’d only told the boys. How did anything get out? He was certain they wouldn’t just tell anyone. They didn’t have a single mean bone in their bodies so them blabbing to the press was impossible. Besides, he’d known them for so long, there wasn’t anyone he trusted more.

So if it really had just been some fans seeing them leave the concert venue together, and  _ Promiflash _ had made up the rest of the story, how had they gotten all the details right? It shouldn’t be so accurate.

Who was that  _ close friend  _ they were talking about?

Mia snapped her fingers in front of Matteo’s face. “Focus! Matteo, where is your phone?”

“Bed,” Matteo muttered absentmindedly, still trying to piece everything together.

“Matteo,” Linn said softly, carefully as if approaching a frightened animal. “Look at me.”

He turned his eyes to them but didn’t really see them.

“You need to breathe or you’re gonna collapse. Can you do that with me? Breathe?”

Matteo shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t know anything anymore. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hans pacing in front of the window, glaring and mumbling to himself. Surprisingly, it calmed Matteo to see that he wasn’t the only one feeling caged.

Mia came back into the room, furiously typing on her phone. When she sat back down next to Matteo, she handed it to him. His phone, then. “Made your Instagram and Facebook private. And I deleted all of the followers you gained on Instagram in the last 24 hours. Any other social media we have to consider? Snapchat? Tiktok? Tinder or Grindr?”

“I need to get out of here,” he blurted. It was too hot in here and his skin felt too tight. There were black dots dancing in his vision.

Those words made Hans interrupt his pacing. “That’s  _ enough _ !” Matteo had never heard him angrier. He stormed off and they heard some banging and running water before he returned with a bucket in his hands. He put it down on the ground, some water sloshing over the edge, to open the window.

“Looks like our toilet is broken!” He yelled to the crowd of paparazzi out on the street and then dumped the water on them. He listened to the indignant screams for a couple seconds before slamming the window shut. When he turned around, there was a wicked smile on Hans’ face. 

“I hope their cameras get damaged,” he sighed. “Now, our little butterfly needs to get out. How do we do that? Any ideas?” He looked at Linn and Mia, waiting for their input.

Matteo barely registered any of the things going on around him while his flatmates formulated a plan. All he could think about was David and if he’d already seen the articles and how he was feeling about them. He just wanted to know that he was okay.

Matteo vaguely remembered how Mia had banned him from any social media sites for the time being as to avoid any articles about him and David and he didn’t particularly feel like checking them anyway right now. However, he picked up his phone and opened Whatsapp. 

He just needed to know David was okay.

_ how are you doing? can we talk? _

Sent. Delivered. Read.

Frustration bubbled up inside of Matteo. David wasn’t the only one going through this. The least he could do was reply to Matteo so they could figure shit out together.

“What do you think?” Hans jerked him out of his thoughts and gestured at Linn.

Matteo blinked at him, then slowly, his gaze moved over to Linn. “Is that my hoodie?”

“Genius, isn’t it?” Hans grinned.

Matteo was confused. He was missing something here.

“Linn’s going to pretend to be you. We’ll take their motorcycle to get away and the paparazzi are gonna follow us. While we distract them, you’ll get the chance to sneak out,” Hans explained.

Matteo was sceptical. That seemed too easy a plan for it to go smoothly.

Sensing his hesitation, Mia reminded him gently, “It’s the best we got, Matteo.”

“It’s gonna work.” Hans sounded absolutely certain.

Matteo figured they could at least try. If it got him out in the end, that was all he needed. “Okay,” he said in a dull voice.

“Alright!” Hans clapped his hands, “Mia is going to accompany Linn because she’s scarier than I am. And then we just hope for the best.”

Matteo still wasn’t convinced but he also was exhausted enough to not complain when Hans forced him to show Linn the way he usually walked “to make it as authentic as possible.” Matteo didn’t believe it was necessary or that it would change the outcome of the precarious plan they had.

“Showtime!” Hans said eventually, seeming to be a lot less stressed than before, which was probably because they at least had a plan now to get rid of the paparazzi — if only temporarily.

“Thank you,” Matteo murmured a second before Linn and Mia left the flat. He knew that none of them enjoyed any of this and yet they were willing to do it for him.

Linn smiled at him, fully understanding that he didn’t need more of an acknowledgement than this but Mia engulfed him in a big hug. “It’s going to be okay,” she assured him.

Matteo’s throat tightened, tears welling up in his eyes. For a second, he let himself cling to Mia before he pushed her away a little roughly.

She only needed to take one look at his face to know why. “We’ll see you later.”

Matteo nodded and then abruptly turned around to go to the kitchen. He needed a couple seconds to collect himself. 

He took a deep breath and splashed his face with water, just enough time before Hans called out, “Matteo, you gotta watch this!”

Matteo trudged back into the living room and joined Hans by the window. It was slightly ajar so they could hear the rise in volume as soon as Mia and Linn stepped outside. They were bombarded with more questions while Linn did an awesome job covering their face so their scam wasn’t discovered. At the same time, Mia hauled insults and “leave him the fuck alone”s at the paparazzi.

They took off on Linn’s motorcycle and miraculously the paparazzi scattered in a flurry of panic, most getting to their cars to follow them while others tried to run after them instead.

Hans squealed triumphantly. “It worked!” Then he ushered Matteo to get his things so he could be on his way. “We don’t know how long Mia and Linn can keep them distracted and how quickly they’ll be back after realising their mistake. So you better get out of here. Do you know where to go?”

Instinctively, Matteo nodded, “Home.” There’d been a time where his first choice of escape would have been Jonas but the relationship with his mother had gotten so much better recently and he just knew he was going to be safe with her.

When he was ready to go, Hans hugged him. “Let us know how you’re doing every now and then, okay? And we’ll tell you as soon as things have calmed down here a little bit.”

“Okay.” Matteo nodded, unable to communicate how grateful he was in any other way than to hug Hans back as tightly as he could.

Matteo made it to Tiergarten when he changed his mind. He had to make one stop before going to his mum’s. He deserved answers.

The hotel wasn’t far and when he made it there, he breathed a sigh of relief when there were no paparazzi in sight. There probably were security guards who enforced the privacy of the hotel’s famous guests.

Because it had been a spontaneous decision, Matteo actually didn’t have a definite plan on how to even get to David. He doubted reception would just let him go to David’s room. But maybe-

Matteo had been here before. He knew where David’s room was so maybe if he just acted confident enough when he walked to the elevators, he’d be able to sneak in and confront David.

They’d been unexpectedly lucky with their plan to distract the paparazzi at the flat so maybe luck was actually on his side no matter how shitty everything else was.

Matteo walked into the hotel, pulling down his hood to seem more inconspicuous. He made it halfway past the reception desk before the person behind it called out, “Excuse me, sir?”

For a split second, Matteo considered just making a run for it. Then he realised he’d probably be slammed into the ground by security in two seconds if that were the case. So instead, he turned his head and gave what he hoped was a winning smile. It felt more like a grimace. “Beautiful day out today, isn’t it?” He said as nonchalantly as possible.

The receptionist eyed him suspiciously. A hoodie and baggy pants probably wasn’t what the Ritz-Carlton’s guests usually wore. “You’re the guy from the newspapers, aren’t you?” He asked.

_ The guy from the newspapers _ . It sounded like he was wanted for murder. Matteo tried to remain calm and shrugged his shoulders. “So?”

He seemed very confused by Matteo’s faked confidence. “I’m just- I’m pretty sure that in the newspapers they said-“

Matteo had nothing to lose. He used the guy’s uncertainty to his advantage. “And you believe everything the newspapers say?” He interrupted him condescendingly.

“Well-“

Matteo lazily waved in the direction of the elevators. “I’ll just be on my way then. Have a good day!”

The receptionist was so stunned that he didn’t try to stop Matteo. He walked just a little bit faster in case the receptionist came to his senses. He pushed the button for the elevator which almost instantly got there, doors opening with a quiet  _ ping _ .

Naturally, Matteo nearly crushed into another person that was about to exit.

Cursed be all higher powers that the person was none other than Laura Schreibner.

She wore another immaculate suit but unlike the other two times he’d seen her, she didn’t seem as put together. Her hair was done up in a messy ponytail, several strands sticking out as if she’d been tugging on it. There were dark bags under her eyes. When her eyes met Matteo’s and she realised who he was, she blurted, “What the  _ fuck _ are you doing here?”

There was no way Matteo could play it as cool with her as he did with the receptionist. “I need to see him,” he whispered; he was begging here.

“You don’t,” she said brusquely.

Matteo thought he could have dealt with David’s angry manager but the same clearly didn’t apply for a protective sister. He honestly had no idea what to do. “Please. We’re in the same boat here. I just gotta talk to David.”

Laura huffed. She shot a glance at the reception where the guy tried to watch them subtly. She pulled Matteo into the elevator for privacy. “You are  _ not _ in the same boat. You don’t have any idea what this whole mess could do to his career! And you know what, fuck his career, have you ever considered what this does to  _ him _ ?”

Matteo pulled his hair. “I’m trying to find out!” He yelled in the safety of the elevator, “He hasn’t replied to any of my texts. That’s why I’m here. I just want to know he’s okay.”

“And you didn’t think about that before you ran to the press? He fucking trusted you!” Laura growled.

And there it was. Exactly what Matteo had hoped wasn’t the case. He was so angry, no amount of feeling intimidated could hold him back. “Are you fucking kidding me? Is that why he hasn’t replied? Is that what he thinks? After everything we’ve shared, he thinks I did it for the  _ fame _ ?”

Laura seemed taken aback but she stood her ground, raising her chin defiantly and telling him, “Well, you did.”

Matteo huffed a laugh. “I didn’t even know the guy was famous when I met him! In fact, I’d rather have fallen in love with a guy that wasn’t worshipped by a bunch of twelve year olds. Anyway, my feelings for him aside, I’m most comfortable when no one’s attention is on me! I’m  _ gay _ , Laura. Do you really think I have a burning desire to put a target on my back? Whoever told the press, it wasn’t fucking me!”

Now that she couldn’t place her anger on him anymore, Laura deflated a little, shoulders sagging. 

“He’s not here,” she sighed. “When the news got out, he did what he does best in situations like these. He ran away. I have no idea where he is, though my guess is in Fürstenberg with his godmother.”

Matteo sagged against the elevator wall. “Shit.” His breath came out shaky. Matteo had no clue how to fix this; even if he did, he doubted he had the energy to do anything. All he really wanted was to curl into a ball and hide. He hated that he couldn’t do it with David. 

“I should go,” he said quietly, hopelessly.

It was impossible to say how Matteo made it to his mum’s house without getting run over considering how dizzy he felt.

When Anja opened the door, all he could do was slump against her. Without asking any questions, she wrapped him up in her arms and pulled him inside.

Matteo didn’t know how long they stood right there in the hallway, his mum giving him all the comfort she could while he tried his hardest not to cry. Some tears spilled over anyway and that just made her hold him tighter.

After a while, Anja suggested, “Let’s go to the living room so you can sit down. I’ll make you a cup of tea.”

Of course, when Matteo walked into the living room, the first thing he saw was the  _ Bild _ newspaper whose front page proclaimed:  _ DELUSIONS OF A FANBOY — Berlin brat claims singer Dave Schreibner is in love with him _ . Next to that headline, they’d added probably the most unflattering picture of Matteo off his Instagram. 

So obviously, he didn’t need to fill his mum in on what was currently going on in his life.

“I’m so sorry, darling,” Anja exclaimed when she came into the room as well. Her eyes were wide and she quickly set down the cup of tea to take the newspaper and crumple it up. “When I saw the newspapers, I bought as many of them as I could so other people wouldn’t see.”

Matteo was just tired. No amount of newspapers she’d buy would change anything. Even if she got all the papers in Berlin, the news had most likely already spread all over the country. Anyway, she couldn’t do anything about the internet.

“David doesn’t talk to me anymore.” There was a quiver in Matteo’s voice and when his mum pulled him in for another hug, he couldn’t hold himself together anymore. He started shaking as tears spilled over.

Anja didn’t say anything as she held him as long as he needed, humming quietly in an attempt to soothe him.

They stayed like that until Matteo heard the front door open. Lila was chattering excitedly to her dad, reminding Matteo of his mum’s new life. It had changed so much and she was clearly so much happier than she’d ever been with his father. Matteo didn’t really fit into that anymore — he was just that constant reminder of her past. “I’m sorry. I should go.”

At that moment, Sven and Lila walked in. “Oh, please don’t leave on our account!” Sven told him kindly.

Matteo shook his head. “No, no, it’s okay. I should head back home. I don’t want to be more of a bother.” He hadn’t heard from his flatmates yet, but if there were still paparazzi at the flat, he could probably figure out a way to get back inside undetected.

There was some kind of non-verbal conversation going on between Anja and Sven (just another reminder how well they fit together and how out of place Matteo was) before Sven and Lila left the living room again.

“My dear darling boy,” Anja sighed, her expression full of sorrow. She grabbed Matteo’s hands and squeezed them. “I’m not letting you leave. You’re gonna stay here until you feel better, you hear me? You are  _ not _ a bother. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were. You’re the most precious thing in my life. I’m sorry if I’ve been a shitty mum in the past. I never wanted you to believe that I don’t love you.”

“But I left just like dad-“

“Your dad left us because he’s a shitty human being. You are not your dad. It is not your fault that your dad’s and my relationship didn’t work out.  _ We _ fucked that up, not you. You are not a burden, Matteo. I want you to remember that, always, and I will do anything to never make you feel like that again.” There were tears glistening in her eyes when she finished talking. She leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead. 

“I’m so proud of who you’ve become and I wish I could take more credit for it. You didn’t deserve to be treated like an afterthought just because things with your dad sucked. And you don’t deserve to be treated like the press is treating you right now — or how David is treating you for that matter.”

The chuckle that left Matteo’s lips was watery but filled with relief. He hadn’t realised how much he had needed to hear his mother say all these things. “I love you,” he whispered, wiping fresh tears from his cheeks.

“I love you too, my beautiful son,” his mum replied, smiling softly.

Matteo could honestly say that he’d never felt more exhausted — and he’s had some pretty low points in his life. The only good thing that had come out of this whole mess of a situation that he felt closer to his mum than ever before. But even knowing that she loved him and how caring she was couldn’t make him feel better.

He just wished David would let him explain.

There was no way of knowing if Laura believed that it hadn’t been Matteo who’d run to the press. Even if she did, Matteo wasn’t sure if she was actually going to tell David.

Matteo grabbed his phone and, ignoring all other notifications, went to his chat with David. It made him sick to see all his unanswered messages but he needed to try one last time. Instead of typing out a text, he sent a voice message.

“It wasn’t me, David. I know we haven’t known each other for long but I’ve always been honest with you. I don’t understand everything you’re going through but I do know what it’s like to be scared to be outed. I thought I made it clear that I’d never do anything to out you and how I’m feeling about you. This whole situation is a fucking nightmare but when it started, I thought we’d at least have each other for support. I don’t know… my feelings haven’t changed but I guess you’re not interested anymore. I just want you to know that whoever told the media wasn’t me.”

He’d felt angry when he’d gone to the hotel to confront David but all that had faded now. There was only sadness. Matteo dropped his phone on the kitchen counter and went back to the living room.

Anja shot him an encouraging smile and patted the empty spot on the couch next to her. Matteo went easily, immediately curling in on himself. He rested his head in his mum’s lap and closed his eyes. He just wanted to forget.

Anja carded her fingers through his hair soothingly while humming softly, a song Matteo faintly remembered from his childhood.

When Matteo woke up, he was alone. He was still on the couch, a blanket draped over him. It smelled like home.

His mum had closed the blinds and there was only a little light coming in through the gaps. The house was quiet even though a look at the clock on the wall told him that it was almost noon.

For just a second, everything was calm and his mind was much more clear than the night before. It gave Matteo a moment to breathe and think that maybe he was going to get through this. If he just waited it out for a couple of days, he could probably go back to his flat without being scared of paparazzi swarming him. Maybe.

Matteo stretched his arms over his head and cracked his neck. He then stood up and trudged into the kitchen where he found his mum and Lila. He stopped in his tracks when he also spotted Jonas.

“Hey man, how are you doing?” Jonas put down the cup in his hands and came closer to Matteo, a worried expression on his face. “You haven’t been answering your messages, the boys and I are worried!”

Matteo shrugged. Jonas had probably seen the news so there really was no need to tell him how he was doing.

“It’s so fucked up.” Jonas cringed, sending Anja an apologetic look at the foul language. “Do you have any idea who told the press? Abdi and Carlos assured me that they didn’t say a word to  _ anyone _ . Carlos didn’t even tell Kiki anything. Who else did you tell?”

Lila dashed off out of the kitchen, presumably bored of the situation. Anja followed her soon after, squeezing Matteo’s arm as she walked past him.

“No one,” Matteo mumbled quietly, undeniable relief flooding him at the reassurance that it hadn’t been one of the boys. 

“How did Carlos manage to keep that from Kiki?” Matteo asked, smiling a little because he knew Carlos and his girlfriend didn’t keep any secrets from each other and anyway, he was really bad at keeping them.

“No idea,” Jonas laughed.

Matteo sighed, glad to have his best friend here now. “I’m sorry I kinda dropped off the face of the earth. It was a lot…”

“Nah, bro. It’s chill. I get it.” Jonas slapped him on the back, smiling encouragingly. “How about you take a shower and meet me at the playground down the road after you’re done?”

Matteo nodded in agreement. It felt incredibly nice to have that subtle encouragement to take care of himself without putting too much pressure on him. “See you in a bit.”

Matteo ended up spending almost an hour in the shower. It wasn’t really surprising to be honest; when he felt down like he did right now, it was incredibly hard for him to find the energy to take a shower but when he eventually did, he didn’t want to leave.

When he headed out, he passed by Lila who was on her laptop. Naturally, David’s face was staring back at him from some tumblr blog and Matteo caught a glimpse of what the post said: something about a fan having spotted David at the train station arriving back in Berlin.

Lila looked at him wide eyed, then back at her laptop. She nodded to herself and then shot out of her seat and past Matteo, yelling, “See you later!”

Matteo decided not to question her antics and instead walked to the playground, ready to apologise to Jonas for making him wait so long. But when he spotted Jonas, he was on the swing set, smoking a cigarette and generally just seeming very chill.

“Hey.”

“Hey, man.” Jonas handed him the cigarette with raised eyebrows.

Matteo sat down on the other swing, taking a long drag from the cigarette before giving it back to Jonas.

They sat in silence for a long time before Jonas finally spoke up. “Remember when you came out to me right here?”

Matteo huffed. Of course he did. It had been the most terrified he’d ever been. “What about it?” He murmured.

Jonas shrugged. “I don’t think I ever told you how incredibly brave I thought you were… that you told me you used to have a crush on me. I don’t think I could have done that.”

Matteo could feel his cheeks heating up. He’d practiced his coming out in front of a mirror so many times and in none of those versions did he ever admit to his crush on his best friend. But then the day came that he’d actually had the balls to come out and it was like a dam had been broken. He just told Jonas  _ everything _ . 

Jonas smiled a little, noticing Matteo’s embarrassment. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’ll get through this, bro, and I’m here for you, okay?”

“I know,” Matteo whispered.

“Have you talked to David?”

“I tried but…” He trailed off, he was tired of talking about it.

Jonas groaned. “God, this sucks so much. Do you need me to find the guy and give him the best friend talk?”

Matteo laughed. “I don’t think that’s necessary,” he said dully.

“Shit, man.”

There was no way for Matteo to get his mind off of things, not even his best friend managed that, but he did feel better after having hung out with Jonas for the better part of the day.

Just before it was time for dinner, Lila came back, cheeks red from exertion. She shot Matteo a smile.

“Where have you been all day?” Sven asked her, “You’ve been very cryptic in your messages.”

She just shrugged. “Hung out with friends. Planned a surprise.”

Sven apparently knew when he wouldn’t get more information out of his daughter so he just dropped it.

Matteo tuned out of the conversation after that, just making himself focus on eating at least a little bit.

Later, when he was alone on the couch again, he mindlessly scrolled through his phone. He really didn’t do anything because he was still avoiding all social media so there really wasn’t much left that he could actually do.

He considered finding a book to read when his phone buzzed with a new message. He barely paid any attention to the notification that popped up, expecting it to be one of the boys. He didn’t feel like keeping up a conversation right now.

But the short glance was enough to startle Matteo. He switched over to Whatsapp and stared at the message from David.

Just two words staring back at him.

_ I’m sorry. _

What did that even mean?

Matteo stared at the screen of his phone, waiting for the “ _ is typing… _ ” under David’s name for more of an explanation. But five, ten, twenty minutes passed and there was nothing.

_ I’m sorry _ for what? For giving Matteo hope? For making him think that there could be something between them? For just disappearing? For taking so long to have the balls to end things?

Matteo groaned and stuck his phone between the cushions of the couch. He squeezed his eyes shut, knowing very well that there was no chance of falling asleep now.

Another half hour passed before Matteo got up, threw on a hoodie and shoes and took off. Fresh air always helped, didn’t it?

He’d made it through half a pack of cigarettes before he ended up at his destination. Although it hadn’t been his intention, he also wasn’t surprised to find himself here.

This was where it had all started so maybe he needed to be here to get closure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Promiflash is an actual thing in Germany so I did some research on how they write their article and yes, it's really that trashy. I found an article about a possibly gay Big Brother participant and it was painful to read.
> 
> Let me know you're thoughts <3 and remember to reblog the tumblr post please

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you liked this! Let me know what you think in the comments or come talk to me on tumblr [@matteoohno](https://matteoohno.tumblr.com/). It would also be great if you reblogged the [tumblr post](https://matteoohno.tumblr.com/post/186304209183/how-to-get-a-boyfriend-who-is-a-rockstar-a) for this fic to spread the word <3


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